


those afternoons and evenings

by mildlydiscouraging



Series: seven birds (tazwap version) [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Almost Kiss, Awkwardness, Baking, Beaches, Bonding, Boys Kissing, Canonical Character Death, Con Artists, Cooking Lessons, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hammocks, Introspection, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Non-Chronological, Roleswap, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Stolen Moments, Team as Family, music metaphors, non-graphic animal death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 24,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildlydiscouraging/pseuds/mildlydiscouraging
Summary: The moments and years in between, in which feelings take root despite the constantly changing landscape. Alternatively: The world has been ending for forty years and Taako and Kravitz can't stop falling in love.





	1. cycle 40 — my childhood river

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [does he project, does he have ideas?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871054) by [mildlydiscouraging](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildlydiscouraging/pseuds/mildlydiscouraging). 



> can be read as a standalone, but makes the most sense if you've read my previous fic (as seen above) or are at least familiar with [trainwreckgenerator's tazswap au](http://trainwreckgenerator.tumblr.com/tagged/tazswap)

They take good care of their things on the Starblaster. Once they realize only their bodies regenerated every year, they start consciously preserving things. Something about the bond engine helps with the ship itself, but things like furniture they can't replace they watch over. They stock up food and replenish their stores when they can, never knowing what kind of world is next, and mend their clothes, their last reminders of home. Over forty years they've gotten good at it, to the point where some things are still like new.

A couple decades ago, on the beach world, among all the hundred other lazy month things they do, Hecuba knots and weaves a hammock that becomes a staple of their lives. It pops up in the background of their lives—after a particularly tough day, Davenport is swinging gently in one corner of the deck, Lup breaks her arm trying to surf on it, and people pile on it the few birthdays before they stop celebrating those. Eventually it starts to accumulate dust in a closet somewhere, between the chases and the near death experiences, and is forgotten.

It's late afternoon near the end of their year at the Legato Conservatory when Taako and Kravitz unearth this hammock and take to the hills to get the most out of it. After several minutes of struggle they stabilize it enough for them to both climb in. Kravitz's notes (the reason they're technically out there, since the ceremony is in two months and they still don't have a solid plan for what they're going to do) lie abandoned on the grass beneath them, and every once in a while the rock pinning them down brushes the bottom of the slowly rocking hammock.

The hammock isn't quite big enough for two fully grown men, and it takes some arranging, but eventually they fit. They're each too tall and their knees overlap in their alternation, each with a bent leg between the others' and their heads at opposite ends. Taako has one hand dangling over the edge, grabbing pieces of grass and little clover flowers as they swing by before braiding and shredding them in equal measure. Closer to the main campus the conservatory keeps the grounds fresh and manicured, but out here the grass is long and wild. It took them a few solid minutes of walking to find two trees close enough to set the hammock up between, and from here they can't even hear the usual bustle of the artists milling around the school buildings.

As Kravitz pushes them again, Taako starts humming. It isn't anything like the song they've been trying to write, more like a simple lullaby Kravitz could probably identify if he thought hard enough about it, and it's a welcome break. Between the barely perceptible rocking of the hammock and Taako's soothing melody, Kravitz almost falls asleep. There's a thin little breath of a breeze that sends the entire field wavering and Kravitz is just about to slip over the edge into pleasant unconscious when he gets a face full of shredded grass.

Taako's laugh is loud even over Kravitz's spluttering. He reaches back down to pick more grass and says, "Looked like you were drifting off there for a sec, handsome."

"Because that would have been so terrible," Kravitz replies. He starts to brush off the blades of grass but instead sweeps it into one hand with the other and tries to throw it back at Taako. It fails spectacularly, the grass mostly returning to its prior position on his chest, and it only serves to make Taako laugh harder.

"Shut up!" Kravitz starts to lean forward, planning to do who knows what, and Taako quickly reaches up a foot to push him back down.

"Don't tip it!"

With a sigh, Kravitz leans back, although he momentarily holds Taako's foot captive in retaliation. Both their shoes were lying in the grass nearby, and Taako's blue and green socks are bright in the afternoon sun. His feet are ticklish, though, as Kravitz has just found out by the way he flinches and his right ear twitches when Kravitz's thumb brushes over the arch of it, and that's a _very_ interesting and opportunely timed discovery.

"Swear to _gods_ I'll kick your teeth in," Taako says, squirming as Kravitz starts to tickle him. "Bloody that pretty face, I don't give a fuck."

"You wouldn't," Kravitz says confidently, but then Taako jerks and the hammock almost flips and he's quickly shut up.

He jerks forward and grabs Taako's arm with one hand and the side of the hammock with the other. They rock dangerously for a moment before their shared unwillingness to even so much as breathe steadies them.

Taako glares at Kravitz even as he sheepishly grins. "You're lucky I burnt all my spell slots at breakfast this morning or you'd be so dead right now."

"And strand yourself without a duet partner?" Kravitz's grin flips from mildly apologetic to self-assured. "You wouldn't dare."

Instead of replying, Taako just pushes him with the tip of his toes again, and doesn't pull back when Kravitz holds his foot again. This time, with intent behind it instead of just accidental brushing, Kravitz's gentle kneading doesn't tickle, and Taako closes his eyes and resumes his humming.

Kravitz couldn't fall asleep this time, even if he wanted to. He feels like he can look outside himself, like he can see the outline of the two trees on the hill, their hammock stretched out between them, two heads listing to opposite sides as they sway. It's objectively a pretty picture, even he can tell from where he's sitting, but there's something about being in this bubble of a moment that is entirely different. It's beautiful, not pretty, and kind, not nice, and all sorts of other synonyms that connote a knowledge of something _else_ , although even Kravitz himself isn't quite sure what that extra meaning is.

One of Taako's hands is dangling over the side, his elbow bent at enough of an angle so his fingertips just barely glance over the grass. His face is quiet in a way that Taako as a whole so rarely is, and he doesn't even notice as another rush of wind blows his hair across his face.

"C'mere."

Kravitz doesn't know what possesses him to ask it, even less what does Taako to actually do it, but when Taako carefully takes back his foot and turns around, and Kravitz pulls up some grass and clover before he sits up, it all goes unspoken.

As Kravitz starts braiding and twisting the green into Taako's hair, Taako's humming starts to take on mumbled words. It's only then that Kravitz recognizes it—a lullaby indeed, old enough that probably even Taako was sung it as a baby, and long gone outside of the memories of seven people at most. The realization makes Kravitz pause in his ministrations for a moment, enough that Taako switches back to humming wordlessly so he can slip in a questioning tone, and Kravitz goes back to braiding.

"Everything alright back there?" Taako's head droops forward, seemingly not paying too much attention, but his ears are swiveled as far backwards as they go.

"Sure." Kravitz flicks at the tip of one of Taako's ears and laughs once when it quicks away. "Just thinking."

"Dangerous habit, homie," Taako says in the same drawl. His ears relax and he actually leans back this time, which makes it a little hard for Kravitz to continue but he doesn't really mind. "I try to avoid it as much as possible."

"And that's how you make such good decisions, hm?"

"Natch." Over forty or so years Kravitz has learned how to read Taako's expressions without seeing his face. Here he can tell that Taako is smiling even with just one word, and even what kind of smile (the one where he's secretly pleased but the only outward sign of it is a quirk of the lips and a little wrinkle at the top of his nose). Kravitz drops a hand onto Taako's shoulder and squeezes, smiling to himself as Taako goes back to humming another song. He swings one leg off the side of the hammock, the other still trapped between the knotted rope and Taako, and kicks off the ground to start them swinging again.

It isn't long before Taako slumps back completely and starts to snore. Kravitz gives them one last push as he feels his own eyes start to drift shut. His hands settle on Taako's shoulders and for a moment he just savors the warmths of a body near him and a sun on his face.

He feels the brief awareness that only comes when one knows they're about to fall asleep and Kravitz sees himself from the outside again—how his hands slacken and one falls onto his thigh, how Taako sleepily reaches across himself to grab it even as he pats the same knee to subconsciously reassure that whatever it is isn't worth moving for, unknowingly entangling them further in the tiny nest of the hammock. The shredded grass Taako had still in his lap is blown away, their swaying ceases, and the sun warms the tops of their heads.

They'll wake when the sun sets and their shoeless feet start to grow cold, they'll gather their belongings and traipse back down and up and down the hills to the ship where Lup will be begrudgingly cooking dinner by herself, they'll fumble some excuse about how they totally got work done, of course, and refuse to explain why they're both covered in greenery and smudgy stains and little white and purple flowers. Kravitz's notes won't blow away, and, eventually, they'll grow to include a bit of the warmth now knotted in that hammock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haello haello welcom back to my cave
> 
> i dunno if there's any "audience" for this lol but it's mostly a series of moments alluded to in or happening behind the scenes of my first tazswap fic, and i guess it makes the most sense if you read that
> 
> if you DO like this and want to see more, pls comment and leave kudos and such, truly can't stress enough how much that kind of shit means to me


	2. cycle 11 — the bramble of "blackberry"

"Fuck!"

Kravitz looks up from his notes-slash-doodles to see Taako shouting into the sink. He raises an eyebrow in only mild concern as Taako groans and turns around, sliding down to the floor with his back to the cabinets.

"You good?"

"I lost a fucking earring down the drain," Taako laments. "Washed it down with the stupid egg shells."

Closing his book, Kravitz crosses the living room and heads into the kitchen. There are bowls scattered around, and the smell of something sweet heating up in the oven. "What's the occasion?"

"Julia's birthday cake," Taako says as he stands up morosely. "Last time I do anything nice for anyone, I swear." The way he sighs down into the sink and makes a face says the opposite, though.

Kravitz tactfully doesn't mention it. Instead, he turns his hand skeletal and fits his fingers down the drain as Taako leans an elbow on the counter and watches.

"Y'know," he muses, "sometimes I think maybe the reason we keep not really dying is cuz your goddess has a special affinity for your dumb ass."

"She's not  _ my  _ goddess," Kravitz says. He fishes out the earring and rinses it off before handing it back to Taako, who dips his head in thanks. "At the very least, not my version of her from home. I'm not sure  _ she _ still even exists, what with the whole Hunger thing."

He tries not to sound too morbid, but it's a little hard both because of the subject matter and the fact that he's partially a skeleton at the moment. Kravitz tries very hard not to be morbid, but it seems to be just a occupational hazard of being him, and usually Taako calls him out on it, but not this time.

"Well somebody's answering, yeah?"

Taako grabs his wrist and shakes, smiling at the ridiculous rattling sound that it causes. When Kravitz's skin starts knitting itself back together he drops it and instead puts his earring back in.

"Anyway, I could use a sous-chef, if you're down."

With only a cursory glance back at his abandoned notes, Kravitz nods and takes the bowl Taako hands him. He follows Taako around the kitchen as he pulls out bags and jars and boxes, piling them into Kravitz's bowl and, when that gets full, arms as well.

Blackberries, sugar, cream cheese, lemon, salt, vanilla, jam are piled up and poured out onto the counter. As Taako starts moving confidently around the kitchen, Kravitz doesn't have to ask and starts zesting the lemon. A mountain of little yellow curls amass on top of the blocks of butter and cream cheese at the bottom of the ceramic bowl.

"When are they getting back?"

Taako is to his right sifting sugar, to his left measuring salt. Ever since Taako had given Kravitz those baking lessons a few years ago, they've been able to move around each other mostly smoothly, like two orbiting stars that only sometimes get sucked in by each other. He leans over to pour some jam into the bowl, bumping Kravitz's elbow in the process, and wordlessly takes the lemon so he can start mixing.

"Dav and Hecuba are supposed to be back to set up chairs and shit in a little while," Taako says as he measures out the dry ingredients, "Lucretia's wrapping presents," and slides Kravitz the vanilla beans and a knife, "and then Lup's supposed to bring Jules back around four."

As Kravitz adds the vanilla, Taako concludes, "Meanwhile we get to sit here and watch everything fall into place."

They work together in quiet tandem as people walk in and out of the room behind them, taking the cakes out of the oven and eating the leveled off scraps as they wait for the filling to solidify. Kravitz fetches his notebook and goes back absentmindedly to his work as Taako colors and shades in the doodles in the margins, still at the table as the sounds of everyone else going about their business surround them.

The timer goes off and Taako gets up to do the frosting. His hyper focus on his work inspires a draw of its own, and as Kravitz watches quietly from the table he finds his pen tracing an outline of its own accord over the pencil marked numbers. It's Taako, of course. Kravitz doesn't consider himself an artist, let alone a good one, and maybe it's just because he knows what they're supposed to be, but the wiggly lines almost capture the way he never quite stands still.

With a final spin of the decorating stand, Taako takes a step back and looks over his shoulder.

"What d'you think?" He asks. "Worthy of a Waxman?"

Kravitz stands and considers it for a while. The cake is... technically perfect, so he drops a few blackberries in a messy circle around the top, grates some lemon sporadically over it, and turns to smile at Taako.

Taako, glaring, crosses his arms, and they have a silent argument for a moment before he sighs and takes the stand over to the fridge.

"You know she'll love it," Kravitz says teasingly, and Taako turns back to glare at him again as he tugs on his recovered earring.

"Yeah, yeah, it's the Jules Power Hour, I know. I guess I'll debase myself and my reputation for a day."

Taako doesn't sound okay, and he won't stop worrying his ear, but even though they've been... well, Kravitz would say they're friends now, but there's still something about Taako that makes it feel like even if he asked what was wrong and Taako replied, he wouldn't get an answer.

But that wouldn't stop him from asking.

"It's a beautiful earring," Kravitz says.

"Thanks," Taako says, not overtly suspicious but certainly aware that Kravitz's non sequitur is headed somewhere. "It was my aunt's. Used to be a pair, but, y'know, lost the other one somewhere along the way."

Kravitz nods and carefully considers his next move. The few times Taako has talked about his life before the Institute haven't been more than an oblique reference that was shut down at further curiosity, and while usually it didn't matter so much, this time it was obviously bothering him.

"Today was her birthday too," Taako finishes. He turns back to the counter and starts gathering up dirty dishes, not quite dropping them into the sink but certainly not being gentle. When he flips on the faucet, his other hand goes back to his ear, and he just stares at the running water for a minute.

Silently Kravitz comes over and starts washing the dishes. The sound of the water almost completely drowns him out when he says, "Well, I'm glad I could help."

Taako scoffs and picks up a bowl. "Yeah."

He's cold the rest of the afternoon, closed off just underneath the usual banter than Kravitz only notices because he saw the wall go up. Even when Julia returns and gives them all warm hugs, he can't stop feeling like he's deeply screwed up. But then Taako gives him a slice of cake just a little bit bigger than the rest, and he finds himself smiling automatically.

It's a beautiful cake, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes keaton, back at it again! still haven't started that speculative fiction essay i'm meant to turn in on monday, but i wrote roughly eleven thousand words of this whole thing, so there's that
> 
> tentatively speaking this should have fifteen installments? i have six left unfinished/unstarted so far, but idk, there may be something interesting in the comments or just in the world at large that might inspire a few more, i dunno
> 
> thank you for all your kind words and kudos so far!!!! i VERY much appreciate them, and i'm glad people are excited for this!!!! tbh i am too, but it's been ages since i did anything multi-chapter and i forgot the anxiety of hoping people want to keep reading lol


	3. cycle 4 — talking this way, everything dissolves

The crew of the Starblaster adjusts easily, mostly because that was part of why they were chosen, and start right away to fall into a rhythm they follow for years to come—after being miraculously reborn (something already growing old), they circle the new planet, either spot the Light of Creation or near enough, and get down to the business of getting their hands on it.

Piece of cake.

In the fourth year, it becomes old hat. The newness of an entirely new plane of existence is yet to wear off, but now that they have a plan to follow, it's easy to work by route, and so work by route they do.

This new world they've arrived at is barren of any speaking peoples, but there is a multitude of unknown plants and insects. Lucretia insists that they catalog as many of them as they can as they continue looking for the Light, just in case they don't find it and they're all wiped from existence. Hecuba in particular is excited to see if any of the plants will survive the reset, but because of the whole limitation of the thing she's resigned herself to just studying them for the time being.

While this is all fine and dandy for the more sciency folks, Taako is slowly losing his mind. He completely redecorates the common room four times, rewrites Lucretia's most recent journal in metered rhyme, uses up all the sugar in his nonstop baking, and then tries to invent a substitute out of things on the planet, and that's only in the first month. Eventually his listlessness funnels itself into more practical necessities, but even then he finds himself easily distracted and restlessly insomniac.

"There's no _people_ ," he complains to Lup one night. They are lying on the deck of the Starblaster watching the fast spinning stars, ear to ear with their feet in opposite directions, and talking about a whole lot of nothing. "Stuck here with only the six of you chucklefucks around to distract me, it's torture!"

"Gods," Lup throws her arms up and lets them fall over her head, brushing past Taako's hair, "for someone so adamant about being alone, you sure as hell need people a lot."

Taako smacks her arm. "Shut up, you know you're the only person I need."

Lup doesn't even so much as flinch, just bends her arm around to ruffle his hair. "Aw, soft stuff, that's sweet," she says with all possible certainty, "but no, you love those chucklefucks."

"At most I tolerate them."

But loathe as he is to admit it, she's right. It's hard enough to spend time constantly with only a small amount of people and not care for them, let alone in such a tense and life changing scenario. It's started to feel like the early days of just Taako and Lup on the road with only each other to watch out for and rely on, everyone and everything else sliding past in the background, except now there's more of them and Taako has to learn all over again how to let people in.

And he doesn't want to, but he already is.

He doesn't know how to say all of this though, so all that comes out is, "And don't call me soft stuff."

There's a scuffling sound as Lup spins herself around and fits herself to his side.

"Oh, my soft serve baby brother," she says as she hugs him and rocks them back and forth. "You sleeper agent softie! You've got all these feelings, babe, let 'em run free!"

"Shut up!"

Taako squirms in her arms, but doesn't make any serious attempt to break free. Above them the strange constellations twirl, covered every so often by a passing cloud.

"You love me, of course," Lup says, "that's just a given. And you love Lucretia—you let her make orange juice on weekend breakfasts, you wouldn't let just anyone do that."

When Taako doesn't interrupt her, she continues, "Davenport I'll give you, but you for sure respect him, and that's pretty damn close in your book. I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible to not to love Julia, and I know you and Hecuba butt heads, sure, it's the same thing with the respect. Kravitz—"

Taako flinches almost imperceptibly, but Lup notices, of course, and sits up to stare directly at him.

"Wait."

"No."

" _Wait_."

"Lup, don't you fucking—"

"You've got the hots for Kravitz!"

Taako sits up and knocks her over. "Shut the hell up!"

She stays down and starts howling with laughter, plastered against the deck. "You've got a crush on death boy, holy shit, I love you."

"Yeah well I hate you."

Lup calms down enough to sit up, wiping the tears out of her eyes, and throws her arm around his shoulders. "Come on, Koko, tell it to your big sister."

"Six minutes," he reminds her. "And there's nothing to tell."

When Taako crosses his arms, Lup takes a metaphorical step back, moving her head so she can really consider him. "You really like him, don't you?" She asks, and he groans and throws his head back.

"You're ridiculous, drop it."

"No, I'm serious." Lup moves around to kneel in front of him and looks at him. "Taako, I _know_ you, you really like this dude!"

"I've said five fucking words this entire conversation! What could you possibly get from that?"

Lup puts her hands on his cheeks and forces him to look her in the eyes. For a minute she doesn't say anything, just tilts his head this way and that as his expression grows more and more unimpressed.

When she finally lets him go, he asks, "Satisfied?"

"Very." She takes his hand and holds it to her heart. "Babe. You love him."

Taako rolls his eyes as she quickly continues, "Or you're _going_ to love him. I'm just putting the pieces together right this second, but they're already there, and you know they are."

"I couldn't possibly know what you mean." Taako is no longer indignant, instead slowly sliding towards preoccupation. His eyes go a little more unfocused in a considerate way as she sadly shakes her head at him.

Lup puts a pitying hand on his shoulder and says, "Honey, he spilled wine on your favorite grey sweater and he still has all his limbs intact."

"That doesn't mean anything," Taako says. "Jules stepped on the back of my skirt the other day and I didn't kill _her_."

"Yeah but you don't check out her ass every time she leaves the room, Taako, babe, come _on_."

Taako pushes her over again, but when she drags him down with her he doesn't say anything, just leans into her side and stares up at the cloudless sky. The deck underneath them is cool in contrast to Lup warm up against him and Taako feels like he's about to sink down into it.

Her arms are still around him when she leans her chin on his shoulder and says, "I'm happy for you, honey."

"For what?" He says blankly.

Lup just hugs him closer.

"Love you."

"Love you too Lulu."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hey did you know that dnd shapeshifters often has the entertainer background because i just read that on the wiki and said really loudly "oh fuck" out loud to myself
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter! just some early soft serve twin time as i edit this essay i finally wrote lmao. the next one is quite good imo and i'm so excited to post it i'll probably do so like tomorrow


	4. cycle 35 — endless distances

"Think fast!"

Kravitz, who would consider himself a fairly competent and skilled man with pretty alright reflexes, gets beaned in the head by a giant book.

"Shit," comes Taako's voice from the mezzanine again. "You were supposed to at least duck!"

"You should've actually warned me, then."

Kravitz rubs at the back of his head with one hand and reaches down to pick up the book with the other.  Like every other volume in the library, it is leather bound and contains only a few introductory pages before giving way to a block of lightweight metal nestled in the spongy interior of the majority of the book. It is the same sleek, thin brick with the same ports and notches as any of the hundreds of books in the abandoned library, and it still makes no sense.

It's been a few months, and the rest of the crew has long since abandoned them in favor of the other more interesting and more easily understood remnants of this world's long gone society. But here are Taako and Kravitz, still trying to figure out how the hell these things work. And apparently throwing things at each other.

"That was totally enough warning."

Taako bounds over to the nearest flight of stairs and hops up onto the banister, sliding effortlessly down to the ground floor with a stack of books in his arms. His ridiculously long sheer vest flutters out behind him, a bright cobalt flag against the dusty browns of the endless shelves, and he lands with more grace than anyone who's been sleeping standing up in an abandoned library for at least a week.

"Right, right," Kravitz says, lifting the book. "And I suppose you think I just let it hit me for fun then?"

"Of course."

Taako's glance is semi-apologetic under his obvious excitement. He shrugs off his vest and throws it and the other books onto one of the tables they've actually bothered to clean off, though it is now covered in notes instead of dust. Scrawled over the remaining paper not co-opted by Lucretia from their last stop and blank pages torn from probably less important books are diagrams in Kravitz's somewhat pretentious flared black ink and a dozen other messy colors, whatever Taako was feeling at any particular time.

On another table are a few of the giant cartridges in varying states of disassembly. There's one with the cover pried off, little red and blue and green flags sticking out of it marking different systems, and another thrumming with gentle energy that makes the air around it hazy purple. Over the past few months they've tried to reverse engineer the "books" in various ways, so far to no avail. Taako's latest idea has been to try and transmute the components into something recognizable enough to activate or charge or whatever needs to be done, and he's started to get a little optimistic that something may come of it.

"Check it out."

Taako takes the book from Kravitz and flips it open, grabbing the metal plate inside. He runs around a kiosk, inset in an old oak table in a bay of similar slots. The library is still hooked up to the main generator, which had been fairly easy to resurrect as they at least understood how that worked. He slides the cartridge into the slot and they both wait for the screen to rise up out of the desktop.

Over his shoulder Kravitz can see the familiar waiting screen and sighs. Absentmindedly he pushes back up one of his sleeves that's started to unroll as he stares at the green. He's spent so long looking at this screen hoping that it will magically fix itself that he's started to see the outline of its foreign language and shapes in his sleep. It's haunting, and he's really growing to resent this place for at the very least ruining this particular shade of green for him forever, but he looks now in hope of a miracle.

"And..." Taako does a little fingertip drum roll on the edge of the desk. "Hey presto!"

The screen quickly flashes to a sweeter shade of blue that's such a relief Kravitz doesn't even flinch when it disappears again.

"Holy shit."

Taako crosses his arms, incredibly pleased. He smells like dust and sweat and his sleeveless white button up is tied neatly at the bottom but wrinkled and far from pristine. As Kravitz starts to poke around the kiosk, Taako shakes his ponytail out and starts to braid it, ignoring the way his dirty hair stiffens and resists the change.

"How did you do it?"

"Magic, baby." Braiding finished, Taako flips through the empty book until he finds the categorical information in the front. "This bad boy right here is one of the oldest blocks in this joint. I figured they gotta start somewhere not far off from where we came from, so the further back I went, the more familiar they'd be. Once I figured out the trends in the binding it wasn't hard to pull out the right books. After that it was just luck."

"Taako, you're a _genius_."

Taako shrugs but he smiles as he tilts his head back, shaking his sweaty bangs out of his eyes. "I know."

"No, seriously." Kravitz waves back at the screen. "This is amazing. This is exactly the kind of breakthrough we've been looking for."

"Well, not quite all the way, but yeah." Taako raps his knuckles against the cover of one of the other books he had brought down. "These guys should help. If I can manipulate their little ID ports more I can probably get them to sync with the system, and after that it should be way easier to crack the rest of these suckers."

Kravitz is thrumming from his fingers to his toes and feels like he could run laps around the library for years without stopping. It's like the fatigue from earlier, from the hours and days and weeks before this, never even existed. He doesn't know the meaning of _tired_ anymore, and he's so excited he can't help it as he scoops up Taako into a hug, lifting him off his feet.

"Whoa, okay then!"

Taako laughs and awkwardly unfolds his arms in the small space so he can hold onto Kravitz's shoulders as Kravitz sways a little back and forth. He's so loud, not just because he's laughing right into Kravitz's ear, but his delight (or perhaps the combination of both of theirs) fills the otherwise silent library.

Kravitz laughs too, now awkwardly, and sets him down, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry, I, uh..."

"No, it's cool." Taako's grin is sharp and warm. "Hero's welcome, I get it." He leans forward and pokes Kravitz's chest. "You owe me a debt of gratitude, and I for one am already thinking about how to collect, but in the meantime we've got shit we can do, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah."

With a nod Kravitz hugs Taako again quickly, this time reciprocated and leaving both his feet on the ground, before going back to the table of scattered parts and trying to reassemble the now unnecessary projects. He misses the last soft edge of Taako's smile as he starts to work, but he's too excited to even remember what longing is, let alone what it looks like in someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah this one was so much fun to write!!!! i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do, i really wanna revisit this one maybe one day, i just really like the world lol (i'm picturing [the library of the vashta nerada](http://blogs.slj.com/connect-the-pop/files/2013/05/Silence-in-the-Library-stacks.jpg) from doctor who, i'm not ashamed to admit that. although it's a bit open-er? and actually now that i think about it it's very heavily influenced by that episode so there's that lmao)


	5. cycle 7 — a thin wire of grief

Lup dies pretty early this year.

Almost as soon as they make contact with the inhabitants of this plane, everyone knows something is off. People they've just met (especially the city council that they're dealing with mostly) reference things they don't recall sharing, and even sometimes that they themselves are unaware of, in such an offhandedly omnipotent way that is disconcerting to say the least. It isn't for a few weeks, though, that they become immediately hostile, and when they do all the time in the world wouldn't have been enough to prepare them.

One of them says something to set them off (Lup? Julia? Taako can't remember, but it was probably him, and gods know that just makes it that much worse) and the council goes berserk. Booming every horrible thing any of them has ever done, and apparently will ever do, the room starts to dissolve around them and the floor beneath their feet rumbles into dust. Crackles of energy spill from the hands of what had previously seemed like normal citizens, their gazes blanked by some green fire, and Taako is bolting for the ship as soon as physically possible, his hand tight around Lup's wrist.

It doesn't help, though. She's running just as fast, staring back wide eyed as the few people they'd gotten along with fine only minutes before send pulsating waves of green energy at them, and fighting back, but—

The weight in Taako's hand goes slack and heavy, for just a moment, and then disappears completely as his grip is pried loose. He turns half a second too late to see just enough—Lup's eyes blank, the fire in her fingertips extinguishing, the way her knees collapse beneath her like a cut-string puppet—before someone else (Julia, his mind supplies) is hauling him onto the Starblaster.

It isn't until that night that he starts to seem affected. As the evening progresses Taako gets more and more antsy, and none of them are really sure what to do with him. He starts pacing the kitchen, the common room, everywhere but the room he and Lup share even as the rest of the crew retires to bed.

Only an hour or so after Kravitz falls asleep is he awoken by something pulling at his sheets. He kicks instinctively and shakes his head, but doesn't start to open his eyes until he hears a sad half-laugh.

"Easy, Krab Kakes," Taako whispers with none of his usual teasing tone, "it's just your old friend Taako."

"Taako, wha—" Kravitz pushes his hair off his forehead and tries to sit up, only for a gentle pressure on his shoulder to ease him back down again.

"This bullshit planet's too fucking loud," Taako says. He's laying down now, near enough that Kravitz can feel the how far the empty air in front of him goes before reaching another body. "Too much white noise for the ol' ear satellites to calm down. Ever since we got here me and Lup've—well."

Kravitz shuffles until he's lying on his side facing where he's pretty sure Taako is. As his eyes to adjust he can sense movement in the stillness that he knows somehow is the twitch of Taako's ear that tells when he's anxious and faces that.

"Do you wanna talk...?"

Taako shakes his head, rustling the sheets. Now Kravitz can see the way Taako's hand is clenched in the duvet, the way his spine is straight even as he forces his voice to relax.

"It's just too fucking cold," he says. "Gotta huddle for warmth."

"Well, I don't suppose I'm the best person for the job, but I can try." As he speaks, Kravitz tries to shift himself so that there's an empty space in his arms. Judging by Taako's eye-roll it isn't as subtle as he would have hoped, but Taako still accepts the invitation and slides over.

Their heads fit together like the teeth of two cogs, chin to forehead, nose to neck. This close Kravitz can feel the way Taako is vibrating on edge and wants to do something to help, but he doesn't know what he _can_ do.

So when Taako grips the front of his shirt, his hand is shaking almost imperceptibly, Kravitz quietly covers it with his own and hopes that maybe he can hold him together from the outside, if he can't from the inside. Besides, Taako is warm and right there. There's only so many places for his own hands to go.

Eventually Taako's breathing evens out and Kravitz would have sworn he was asleep until he says too softly to be on purpose, "She's gone." He sounds small in a way Taako should never be small, but the air is too crowded to be sad about it.

Kravitz shifts, switching which hand is over Taako's so he can wrap an arm around his back, and says almost as quietly, "She'll be back."

Under the covers their combined body heat has started to make it to the edge of uncomfortable, but neither shows any inclination toward moving—if anything they lean even closer. The Starblaster hums around them, but other than that there's no indication of life anywhere outside of this room—no shadows of passing birds, no bustling ambient noise from a city below, no crewmate fumbling around the distant kitchen. There's not a sound but two sets of breathing, two heartbeats, and the hum of the bond engine that lives in every wall.

"Eleven months." Taako's head falls forward against Kravitz's shoulder and he isn't crying, but the ragged edge to his breathing says he isn't far off.

Kravitz hums in agreement and tilts his head to fit more closely over Taako's. When they wake in the morning, neither has moved an inch, and when they go to bed that night neither is anywhere else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the first section i wrote that wasn't immediately happy (you can tell because it is also the time where all i wrote was snuggling lmao) and it was what sort of spurred this to become not just cute and warm constantly. i really do like it, i hope you lot do as well, and the line the chapter is named after is probably my favorite in a poem of favorites
> 
> anyway i'm watching carol rn because they just put it on netflix so if anything in this seems uncharacteristically Romantic its because of that lol
> 
> oh also note the total chapter count went up again lol cuz i have no self control AND i've got an austen paper to procrastinate!!!! woo!!!!!!


	6. cycle 28 — in the voice of my friend

This world is so absolutely devoted to physical betterment that they have a series of huge academies for different schools of training, and Lup and Julia in particular are utterly delighted. They sign up immediately, and Hecuba joins them after a moment of deliberation. Once it becomes obvious how much fun they're having even Davenport joins them part time, but Lup and Julia go all in. They stay there for almost the entire year in exchange for the heads of their schools vouching for them to the council holding the Light of Creation, and it's going pretty well so far.

Back on the Starblaster, Kravitz, Lucretia, and Taako live life as they normally would. They tour the world and visit all the schools, learning all sorts of things here and there, and mostly just wait to see if the plan will work and coming up with back up ideas if not.

"Another heist?" Kravitz offers.

Lucretia wiggles her head. "I don't know if we could pull that off again."

"Also they already know our faces," Taako points out, and they all jointly nod.

They're sitting around the table, having just finished their three person dinner of vindictive mac and cheese (vindictive because it was Julia's favorite and she and the others weren't there and screw them, whatever, Team Brains, Beauty, and Both were killing it out here alone) and are now fumbling to fill the leisure space left by the four missing crewmates.

After a medium sized moment of silence, Kravitz says, "Alright, but don't you want to rappel down through a skylight just once?"

When Taako perks up immediately and runs out of the room, Lucretia doesn't have the heart to remind him that it's his turn to do the dishes.

Kravitz seems to have the same thought as he picks up the dirty bowl and says, "I suppose I'll take these then?"

Lucretia laughs and joins Kravitz at the sink, bringing their glasses and putting them next to the drying rack. "It's the first time in ages that I've seen him that excited, so I'm willing to let it slide."

"Really?" Kravitz frowns to himself as he passes her a clean bowl to dry. "I'm sure I've seen him excited."

"Well you would."

Kravitz rinses off another dish and hands it to her before what she says processes. "Wait, what?"

Leaning the bowl up against the other in the rack Lucretia says simply, "You're his best friend. Of course you've seen him excited."

It isn't until he doesn't pass her another bowl that she finally looks up. "What is it?"

Kravitz is staring down into the sink. The water is still running, and he has a half clean bowl in one hand that he's looking at like it just tried to talk to him. He looks up at Lucretia after a moment, the water still running, and asks,  "I'm his... best friend?"

Lucretia looks a little taken aback and Kravitz doesn't know why, because if anyone here is allowed to be befuddled it's Kravitz.

"Of course you are," Lucretia says. She leans over and picks up one of the clean dishes from his side of the sink and wipes it with her towel. "And he's yours."

"Well, yeah." Kravitz rubs the back of his neck with one hand, not noticing that it's still covered in soap. "He's my best friend, but, you know, Taako and Lup..."

"She's his best sister, sure, but not best  _ friend _ , you know?" 

"I don't know if it's that's necessarily true."

Lucretia hums, considering it, and when they finish the dishes she dries her hands and turns to him. "Either way, he's different with you. Better, I think."

And Kravitz... doesn't really know what to do with that. A part of him starts to protest, pointing out moments of Taako and others, but then he remembers how Taako used to say things that seemed accidentally vulnerable and immediately look at him in a way that dared Kravitz to say something, and he remembers how the follow up look has disappeared, and he doesn't say anything.

Lucretia quietly hands him the towel and glances over at the dishes. "Tell him he owes us."

As she turns to leave the kitchen, Kravitz smiles quietly and says, "As if he'll actually remember."

She stops in the doorway, turns, and smiles at him over her shoulder. "He remembers more than you'd think," she says. "It's just that the little things always stop mattering."

Lucretia leaves Kravitz in the empty kitchen with three clean wine glasses, three clean bowls, a wet dish towel, and a whole lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what?? a new chapter two days in a row???? YES BECAUSE I GOT A JOB and also accidentally wrote two more chapters so we've got some ways to go
> 
> anyway, this one's for letham: i told you i was gonna write lucretia, i also love her


	7. cycle 26 — as numinous as words

When the door to his bedroom opens, Taako keeps reading his book. There's some pretty cool shit in there, some magic this plane has crafted that could actually be useful for once.

"We may have a bit of a problem."

It's intriguing enough of a statement from an unexpected source that he glances up after finishing the sentence he was in the middle of and raises an eyebrow. "And by we you mean...?"

Kravitz throws himself down into the armchair nearest Taako's bed. "Me. But I think probably also all of us. And maybe the balance of life and death in general, that could become bit of a problem too, I'm not sure."

That finally gets Taako to set down his book. He sits up and crosses his legs under him as he leans forward to ask, "What'd you do this time?"

"For the record," Kravitz starts, "I'd like to make it known that most of the time ridiculous things happen because of the people on this ship it is _not_ my fault."

Taako makes an uncertain face but nods when Kravitz starts to glare at him. "Okay, I'll give you that. What's up?"

"So today Hecuba and I were supposed to go fishing with some of the townspeople, right? And everything was fine, and they put me in charge of counting the catch, which smelled bad, but it was fine."

"I wasn't gonna say anything, but yeah, you kinda stink."

"Thanks." Kravitz spares a moment from his thrilling story to give Taako an unimpressed look before continuing, "So I was counting the fish and putting them on ice and everything, and I was whistling, like I do sometimes when I'm working on something mindless, and, well—"

"What'd you bard up?"

Kravitz blushes. "A couple of the fish flopped back to animation for a minute and now everyone thinks I'm their god of death."

Taako laughs so hard he almost falls off his bed, rolling around uncontrollably among the dozens of pillows he's accumulated over the years, and ends up hanging half off the side. In the midst of the laughter Kravitz's embarrassed groan is so hilariously discordant that it sends Taako into another round of giggles and he almost really _does_ fall off the bed, but he saves himself in time.

Taako looks up (down?) at Kravitz, still winding down from the laughter, and contemplates his upside down face. "Only you could accidentally become a god," he says with a smirk.

Groaning again, Kravitz hides his face in his hands. He slumps down in the armchair, his knee almost hitting Taako in the head. "Shut up."

"Honestly I'm just surprised this didn't happen earlier, y'know? Seven aliens land in a flying shiny spaceship, know a bunch of advanced shit, and are after some fucking thralling light that is pretty much inspiration incarnate? Makes sense they'd go after you first, though, you've got that whole ethereal beauty thing going on."

"Shut  _up_."

"They the sacrificing type?" Taako asks as he rolls right side up. "Cuz there was this necklace I was looking at—"

"I'm not going to use my newfound religious followers to help you steal you jewelry." Kravitz looks at him now deadpan and unimpressed, but Taako knows that if he reached out and poked his face right now it would still be super warm.

"It's not stealing if they give it up willingly!"

"And what will they do when they see you wearing it?"

"They'll think I'm blessed by the gods too! It's win win, babe, nothing can go wrong."

Taako slides off the bed to kneel on the ground, on top of a few of the pillows that fell off. He props up his elbow on Kravitz's shoulder and his head in his own hand. "Come on..." He drawls as enticingly as he knows how. "Don't you wanna reap this for all it's worth?"

"Was that supposed to be a death joke?"

"No," Taako's eyes light up and he straightens excitedly, "but it certainly is now. Hey, do you need a second in command? Someone to do all your dirty work for you?"

Kravitz squints. "I think that's what worshippers are for..."

"Okay, then your prince consort or something. Queen of Hell? Come on, I'll make us cool matching outfits," Taako tries. When Kravitz smiles slightly, he cheers. "Yes! We're gods!"

And for the next six months a few of the good people of Sigarston worship them as the rulers of the afterlife. Maybe it's the way Taako leans into the whole "god" thing, maybe it's that they're just particularly willing to believe, but their accidental cult loves Taako possibly even more than Kravitz. It makes it easier to get them to surrender the Light, but Kravitz still can't help but feel a little baffled and embarrassed every time he walks into town for supplies and people lay prostrate on the sidewalk. He spends most of his time worrying some higher power is going to crack down on their deception, but nothing happens other than a few skeptic townspeople watching him warily in the streets. At least he stops their followers from building an entire temple.

Taako in particular takes off on the last day incredibly pleased with his mountains of shiny things and his ability to now claim that people have literally worshipped him, as evidenced by the dramatic black and gold portrait Lucretia paints of them that hangs over Taako's bed. Every time his eyes catch the pile of various precious metals and rocks and the occasional super cool weapon he practically crows with delight. Taako is _very_ pleased with himself, to say the least.

Kravitz is just glad no one ever caught on, especially not the Raven Queen herself. But he does look pretty badass in his iridescent black feather cloak, and the warm feeling that settles in his stomach every time Taako fondly calls him "deathlord" in the after is pretty nice too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somewhat based on [this](http://questbedhead.tumblr.com/post/165443296950/) post bc it's so fucking good but barry isn't in this so you get these dweebs and their long con instead
> 
> total chapters is up another two lmao, and hopefully this is the last time that happens. 20/40 sounds pretty good, yeah? it won't actually work out that way (there's another one in cycle 40, and then cycle -3? lmao but yeah you get the picture)


	8. cycle 18 — what he dreamed

"Oh, um..."

Taako stops with one hand on the doorway. The other drops from where he was rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he's no wide awake. "Oh."

"Hey." Lifting up the pot in his hand, Kravitz gives him a cautious smile that Taako watches him craft piece by piece over his absent expression. "Coffee?"

Taako folds his arms, sliding his hands into the opposite sleeves of his robe to hide how they won't stop clenching and unclenching. He tries to disguise his own awkwardness as indifference, hoping Kravitz hasn't figured out yet how big a tell his ears are, and stalks into the kitchen. Judging by the way Kravitz shrinks back a little it works _too_ well. Shit.

"Yeah, sure." Taako picks two mugs out of the cabinet, his favorite blue one and the "Fantasy NASA" one that Lucretia picked up a few years ago and no one understands but Kravitz inexplicably loves, on autopilot.

Kravitz pours the coffee with one hand and drags over the sugar bowl with the other, handing it to Taako before he's even started asking for it.

"Thanks."

They stand not quite side by side and stare at the window silently, watching the grey-blue snow fall outside. It was startling at first, this world's cold summer, but they were starting to get used to it. At the very least, the constantly changing scenery makes for good conversation fodder when the silence that often plagued the Starblaster's rooms got uncomfortable, or just something to watch when talking isn't a good option.

More and more often Taako finds himself alone in the kitchen, watching snow accumulate and ignoring people go about their business around him. The only person he talks to is Lup, and even that always devolves into him stalking off when she asks what's wrong. He misses talking. It feels wrong not to, but he doesn't have the energy to do anything more than drink hot cider and stare blankly out windows. It sucks.

"I had a weird dream last night," Taako says as he stirs his coffee. He doesn't mean to say it. He doesn't know why he says it, or even _how_. He's talking without noticing, which is a bit frightening, but he can't stop it. He doesn't want to?

"What was it about?"

"There was this mountain, right? This purple octopus lived at the top of it, and the mountain was purple too, for camouflage. I don't know how I knew that, but I did. And you were there, and Lup, and this guy I went to school with a hundred years ago that I hate cuz owes me money and also kinda screwed me over, and the octopus was making us sacrifice somebody so the rest of us could live. I threw Sazed up there, of course, fuck that guy, and the octopus sorta ate him? Like squished the life out of him with its tentacles and then dropped him into its beak. We started to walk away but... there was all this mist. We fell in a pit, or a mine, I don't know, and there was this big sandy thing. I don't know if it was another octopus but it sure had tentacles, and it made us do it all again, and I couldn't _choose_ , so it just... It ate you both. And then I was stuck in this tunnel with all this blood on my hands, only it wasn't blood, it was ink, purple and brown, and _then_ it was _red_. And then I woke up."

He gets enough control over himself to leave out the end when he went further into the tunnel and found their mangled bodies in pools of the purple and brown blood ink. He leaves out trying to figure out which was which, and the feeling upon waking that the difference didn't matter for some reason.

"Wow."

Taako looks up from the mug in his hands and feels that dislocation when you don't notice how long you've been talking until you realize your throat hurts. He takes a long drink of his coffee, ignoring the fact that it's still scalding and doesn't have any milk.

"I also had one about killer robo-swans the other night," Taako adds. "You wanna hear that one?"

"'Killer robo-swans' sounds like explanation enough."

"Nah, they were writing an opera, and—"

Kravitz starts chuckling, then laughing, then almost falling to the ground doubled over, and Taako isn't sure what he's supposed to do about that other than offer to let him help with breakfast, and that's that. That's the morning. They scramble eggs and Kravitz burns the bacon the way he likes it when Taako isn't watching and they wait for everyone to wake up as they talk about robotic demon waterfowl and how much sugar is too much for coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i imagine at some point after this, once lup and kravitz become more close during the beach cycle (which, yes, is coming up) they make a pact that only one of them can be dead at a time
> 
> this was written a bit ago (while i was watching cabin in the woods, actually) but i also had a rough dream last night so it's fitting this is today's chapter
> 
> oh um i made just a few changes to the first chapter, cuz it was written before i knew this was gonna be a whole Thing & so it is a little discordant, but i tried to fix that some


	9. cycle 20 — luminous clarity

Despite the lingering thought in the back of his mind that he might want some witnesses, Kravitz waits until Lup is alone to approach her. Hecuba has convinced Julia to help with the beach shack greenhouse she's planning, Lucretia and Davenport are going through the journals for something, and Taako is floating out in the calm water on his surfboard, his eyes closed, probably asleep, so Lup is alone in front of her well built fire making dinner.

Tonight is a bonfire night, and Lup's grin is wicked in the flickering light. For a second Kravitz starts to rethink his plan, but then she sees him and smiles at the same time as a giant flare reaches up into the sky.

"What's up, ghost rider?"

For a second Kravitz freezes and contemplates how much of a loss it would be if he just drowned himself now and waited until the year reset, but she waves him over and his feet reflexively obey.

"I uh..." Kravitz shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his khaki shorts and rocks forward on his bare toes into the sand. "Need any help?"

Lup eyes him with a knowing suspicion and gestures behind him to the table she's brought outside. "You know your way around a knife?"

"Uh, yes," Kravitz says.

"In more than just a killing way?"

Kravitz chuckles. "Less so, but still, yes."

"Awesome." Lup tosses him a bundle of carrots. "Chop chop."

"What are we making?"

Lup looks up from where she's gone back to taming the flames. "Nothing too fancy, just grilled cheese with asiago on sourdough and honeyed carrot soup."

Kravitz's knife pauses. "That sounds... _very_ fancy."

Winking, Lup waves the fire into one last burst before forcing it down to a much more manageable height. "Sorta the point, handsome."

With a smile Kravitz goes back to chopping. Further down the beach he can make out the silhouette of Hecuba directing Julia's arrangement of the thatch on the roof of her almost finished hut, and Julia's red bandana and cheerful laughter are bright across the sand.

Lup is practically dancing around the campfire, spinning from one side of the table to the other the roundabout way and dodging Kravitz's steady cutting to grab ingredients and utensils. There are a couple of moments where Kravitz is so hypnotized he almost hits bone instead of carrot. At one point she realizes she forgot something so she bends the fire around her arm so she can grab the knife on the table and Kravitz almost bursts into applause.

She must notice his spellbound-ness, because she looks up and smiles at him from the other side of the campfire. "Watch it. Cap'n would kill me if you lost a finger under my supervision."

"Sorry," Kravitz says as he looks back down at his pile of vegetables. He dumps them in the pan Lup had set out for him and swings the little metal arm over the fire.

"I don't blame you," Lup says with an eyebrow raise. She steps through the fire and adds the honey and bay leaf to the pan. "I'm dazzling, I know."

"No, I—" Kravitz takes a breath to cover for his nervousness. "I'm jealous, I suppose. I wish I knew how to cook like you, or at all, really. I'm useless other than a little baking and, like, toast."

"Well, that first part might be a bit too long a shot," Lup says, "but maybe we can land you on the moon, huh?" She passes him a block of cheese and takes a loaf of bread for herself.

"So you'll wanna butter and toast the side that's gonna be on the inside first to make sure the cheese doesn't get it too soggy..."

Over the next half hour Lup walks him through "the world's best grilled cheese" and the rest of the soup making process, showing him off (much to his embarrassment) every time one of their crewmates walks past. Kravitz's sandwiches are a little more lopsided, but the soup is delicious and Lup gives him a double high five before calling everyone over.

Lup moves back the table and sweeps off the cooking paraphernalia to make room for the food, and Kravitz has to admit it looks good. The logs circling the fire are still mostly where Julia had arranged them that first week, and they slowly fill with people. Davenport and Lucretia arrive first, carrying out with them dishes and utensils from the Starblaster's kitchen. Hecuba is next, and then Julia soon after, her hands freshly de-splintered and re-bandaged, and eventually Taako drifts over. He wrings his hair out over the fire just for show as he magics the water out of it and throws on the tank top Lup holds out for him.

"What's it gonna be tonight, folks?" He says, twisting his hair on top of his head. When he dips a finger into the pot Lup flicks his ear even as she hands him his plate.

"The best shit you've ever tasted," she says, "thanks to yours truly and chef boy wonder over here."

Kravitz is mid-stress-distraction-bite and looks up with wide eyes when Lup waves over to him. He simply blinks for a moment until hot cheese drips onto his lap and he yelps. Lup and Taako start laughing, and even Hecuba chuckles as she passes him a napkin. He doesn't have time to feel embarrassed before Taako throws himself onto the log next to him and takes a huge bite of his own sandwich.

" _Fuck_ , dude, that's _good_ ," Taako moans around his mouthful of good cheesy bread. "You did this?" He chugs most of his cup of soup like it's ice tea and not scalding mushy carrot, and hums in appreciation again.

"Uh," Kravitz leans forward and checks the crusts of his remaining sandwich, "no, I think that's one of Lup's. It actually looks good."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Lup calls from the opposite side of the circle, breaking off in the middle of her explanation to Lucretia that "if you're gonna use asiago you gotta make sure you get a thick slice cuz that shit's _real_ melty". She's perched on the table amidst the mostly-vegetables of their labors and has that knowing suspicion in her eyes again. "Bones over here did great for a first timer. I'm considering making him my apprentice."

Kravitz is glad the flickering light from the fire is most likely covering any flushing of his face that might otherwise be visible. He rubs at the back of his neck and readjusts the collar of his short sleeve button up self-consciously. Is it just him, or did the bonfire just get a lot warmer?

Taako leans over to bump Kravitz with his shoulder and pokes his cheek with one gooey finger.

"It's some good shit, Krav," he says, and there's a chorus of agreement after that Kravitz doesn't quite hear because Taako is doing his earnest eyes and they have a tendency to wipe everything else from Kravitz's brain.

Taako rubs off the bit of cheese on left his face and pats his cheek twice before turning back to his dinner. He starts chatting with Hecuba about her greenhouse and Kravitz looks around the fire at everyone laughing over their mugs of soup, enjoying their food and friendship in equal measure. When she catches his eye, Lup winks at him and raises her grilled cheese in recognition. Kravitz mirrors her and laughs when they both take a bite at the same time.

Kravitz holds onto that feeling of pride, of warm pats on the back and even a hair ruffle from Lup as the others pass him with empty dishes, and returns to it when he sets fire to the kitchen table a few weeks later, and when he accidentally gives Lucretia food poisoning from some bad shrimp. His lowest is probably the day he tries to make biscuits on his own and almost burns down the ship. He's only saved when Taako walks in, tips down his sunglasses unimpressed in the smoke, and then pushes back his hair with them so he can save Kravitz's ass "again, dum dum, c'mon".

He does get better, though—slowly at first, then gaining confidence with momentum. Lup guides him through breakfast, lunch, and dinner, teaches him what sauces go with what and why you need to braise meat and how to get bread to rise properly (as assisted covertly by Taako). In between meals Kravitz helps Lucretia organize her notes, learns how to fly the Starblaster, builds the world's biggest sandman with Julia and mourns it when the tide takes it away.

Shockingly enough Kravitz even actually becomes friends with Lup, which is not exactly something he ever thought would happen (she always had this aura of higher power coolness that made it hard to talk to her without turning into a stuttering mess) but now they, like, hang out. They have inside jokes and casual conversations that aren't stilted or uncomfortable. Kravitz finds himself actually opening up to Lup, and she does the same in return, which definitely doesn't seem her speed and makes it matter even more. It's never a big deal—one day they're shelling peas Hecuba somehow grew in her greenhouse after Taako transmuted the grass into glass and find themselves trading stories from their childhoods. Afterward, they both find out the other has never told anyone those things before.

It's a good moment, and an unlikely friendship, and it's nice, to say the least. It's so nice to have friends—no, family. Because they are a family by now, having had so much time to grow together. Kravitz hadn't realized it before but after two decades with these people they've all gotten closer and it feels... so nice to be in the middle of something so good.

They settle into the most relaxed routine, where the only real set events are meals and everything else is just sun and surf. Around noon almost every day, though, the crew can be found in the shallows, splashing around before traipsing back in to share lunch, and Kravitz watches them fondly. His family. That's nice.

"Pass me a banana?"

Lup's voice breaks Kravitz out of his reverie and he looks around for a moment before remembering where he is. He hands Lup the fruits and watches as she slices them into the bowl with the rest of the salad.

"Something on your mind?"

Kravitz hasn't even noticed his eyes and attention have turned back to the ocean, and starts again. "Huh?"

She laughs. "Alright, something's definitely going on up there. What's the sitch, skully? What's rattling around in the ol' noggin?"

Kravitz watches his own hands peel an orange. They're on a blanket in the sand, a big bowl of all sorts of fruits sitting between them, and the splashing of water and Davenport's disgraced yell as Julia dunks him are background noise.

"Come on, babe," Lup drawls. "You can tell your old pal Lup."

"It's nothing," he says, picking off pith with more concentration than is entirely necessary. "It's just... Do you ever wish you didn't know someone so you could meet them again the right way?"

When Lup doesn't immediately respond Kravitz tries to go back to his work, but she steals it and hides it and the bowl both behind her.

"Watch out for the sa—"

"Jump tracks, Krav," Lup cuts him off, "it's feelings talk time. Serious face."

Kravitz sighs but turns towards her regardless, knowing better than to argue. When he looks up, Lup says, "You love my brother, yeah?"

Of all the things Kravitz could have been expecting, that was _not_ one, and he almost chokes on air. "I, um," he stutters. "Well, I don't know about _love_ , per say, that takes time and—wait. I mean. Well. Uh."

"Yeah," Lup finishes for him. She puts both her hands on his shoulders and makes him look her in the eye. "I gotta tell ya something, hot stuff. You're pretty much boned."

"Pun intended?"

"Of course."

Kravitz rolls his eyes, but only because he thinks he should. In the movement he happens to catch glimpse of the water. Lucretia now has Taako on her shoulders and they're trying to topple over Julia and Davenport. They all look so happy, so unbelievably unconscious of all the hurt that's come in the years before, and Kravitz feels his heartbeat like a sunburn ache.

"The good thing is," Lup continues, "there's no way you can possibly lose."

A very small but insistent part of Kravitz's mind starts shouting like a siren, but he steps on it over and over until it shuts up and his head stops swimming.

Lup folds up her legs and sits up straighter in a way that's only natural because it's Lup.

"Listen," and Kravitz does, "I know Taako like the back of my hand, and not just because we have the same hands. He's my entire heart, and I _know_ my heart. You don't have to change who you are to try again because if he doesn't love you already, he will soon enough. He has to warm up to things, you know? Cuz if there's one thing Taako is, it's slow."

She waves a dismissive hand before he can think to object and glances over at the water. "Not that he's dumb," she continues, "I mean, don't tell him I said this, but he's probably the smartest person I've ever known, just... He takes his time."

Kravitz nods just enough to be noticeable. He does know, but he's also aware that he doesn't—at least, not on the same level as Lup.

"Maybe it'll take him longer to come around and actually finally accept his feelings, cuz gods know he's bad at that kind of stuff, but he will in time." She raises an eyebrow and smirks at him kindly. "If there's anything the two of you have got, it's time."

The splashing laughter is far away as though for the moment nothing past their blanket exists. What Lup is saying is a lot, not just with the implications and questions it raises with it like bubbles breaking the surface, but because it brings into focus this future stretched out so far ahead that Kravitz doesn't know how to process it, let alone plan for it.

He does want to do something, though. He doesn't know what, but he feels the urge to act like he hasn't in awhile, and in that moment he realizes how stagnant he's been. It's a lot to process and his eyes glaze over.

"Besides," Lup adds, bringing him back, "that handsome mug doesn't hurt either."

She grabs his chin and shakes him back and forth fondly and it makes Kravitz laugh. Lup releases him only to push at his forehead and turn to grab the fruit they'd been working on.

"Go get your swim on," she says as she picks up an apple to peel. "I got this."

Kravitz smiles at her one last time and covers her hand with his for a second before standing. He pulls off his shirt, ignoring Julia's wolf whistle, and leaves it on one corner of the blanket before jogging over and getting a faceful of saltwater. When he resurfaces, Taako is trying to climb up his back for the next chicken fight, and Kravitz just holds on to his calves and laughs.

The water is warm, the sun even warmer, but Taako's hands on top of his head and his snarking taunts and gloating both ringing over him when they send Lucretia into the water are a different kind of warm—an incandescence that settles in the middle of Kravitz's chest that makes its easy home there.

It's a really good year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and over here you'll see me over-explaining anything food related as part of the grand taz tradition ([here's](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/4852/honeyed-carrot-soup) the soup it's really good)
> 
> regardless, i really really really REALLY LOVE writing lup and kravitz, i think they'd get on really well and she would tease him a lot and kravitz would take it bc she reminds him so much of taako and also cuz she's just so Cool and tbh they're probably really good friends i looooooove theeeeeem alright BYE I GOTTA GO TO CLASS


	10. cycle 16 — the way his hands dismantled bread

Taako's fingers trip down the high end of the piano. The sturdy little upright had been liberated by Kravitz last year from the ruined quarter where they'd found the Light with minimal damage to the finish from where a particularly vicious looter had tried to grapple hook it out of Lup's levitation, and it sits proudly in the common room even as Julia goes about helping restore it.

_"I gotta ask..."_

_"No, you don't."_

_"Oh but I do."_

_"Alright, yes, before all of this I was briefly a bard."_

_"Tights?!"_

_"No."_

_"But...?"_

_"There may have been a puffy shirt involved."_

_"Yes!"_

_"It was black, though."_

_"Oh, natch."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"So you're good with your hands, huh?"_

It lays mostly dormant these days, although dormant implies a later awakening that Taako's not sure is still possible. Every so often there is some slow melody in the middle of the night, as quiet as is physically possible, but the player is always gone by the time someone decides to investigate. He tries not to feel too guilty about that, but it sometimes sneaks in underneath all the other shit he's dealing with on a regular basis and he doesn't notice it until times like this.

He doesn't know any songs. Maybe once upon a time he and Lup used to know one of those gimmicky duets (he has the faint recollection of some tavern and the clink of change falling into a tankard) but he doesn't remember it anymore, and all the other ones he's heard were too complex for him to replicate, the complicated ones he'd tried to pay attention too when Kravitz...

So Taako keeps walking his fingers up and down the lower register, ignoring the way the pressure makes the kitchen nicks on them itch. The rest of the crew is out, invited to some nice dinner with the innkeeper that was helping them find the Light, and Taako is home alone, which is more than fine by him.

(More than fine—he had faked sick for this exact reason, although his faking was hardly convincing and everyone seemed to know to leave well enough alone.)

Taako's good in here.

Somewhere behind him a door creaks open, and Taako spins around on the mismatched piano bench so quickly he almost slides right off the end of it. Damn these leggings and their complete lack of friction.

"It's just me," Kravitz says, his head appearing in the front doorway. He look sheepish and uncomfortable in equal measure, and Taako almost blasts him anyway just so he doesn't have to keep looking at that _face_.

Instead he just turns back around, poking at the keys with much more force than earlier. "Well there goes half of dinner and a show I guess. Concordia's cooking too much for you? You should've seen her kitchen when I was back there, a goddamn grease trainwreck."

"No," Kravitz says. His footsteps sound cautious as he approaches. "I just thought you might want some company."

Taako scoffs and refuses to look at Kravitz even as he sits down right next to him on the little bench, close enough that Taako can feel the cool night air still clinging to his jacket. Because _this_ is what he needs right now. This is what the universe decides to throw at him tonight.

"Right," he says as mean as he can force himself to be. His heart isn't in it, but hopefully Kravitz can't tell. Taako hates it, this uncontrollable urge to cut down everything in his path, but he can't stop himself. Lashing out feels just good enough to keep doing it as he stands up and stalks out of the room with as much dramatics as possible.

He doesn't say anything further, doesn't even breathe until he shuts himself up in his and Lup's room. The door slams behind him as he throws himself back against it before sinking down against the wood and saying in a harsh whisper, "Shit."

The ship is silent around him and not even the ambient noise of the summer outside makes it in the closed windows of his room. Taako sits on the floor and watches his hands shake for a moment before he punches his own knee. There's a boot on the floor near his foot, he doesn't know whose, and he kicks at it blindly as he lets out a small yell. The noise is momentarily satisfying but does nothing to stop the overall consuming sound of nothing nothing nothing.

Back in the living room, the sad slow music from the middle of the night starts. Taako almost flings open the door again. He wants to sink his hands into and tear out all the strings and wires and whatever else is inside that stupid thing until it goes back to silence, because as painful as that is it least it doesn't make him feel anything.

But the music continues, further than Taako remembers hearing before. His hands start to unravel on his knees and he smooths out the fabric underneath him. He hadn't even noticed at the time, but now Taako remembers how he looks—the worn and flowy patterned pants, an old softball shirt that was probably originally Lup's, his hair half in a braid and half in a cloud around his head.

The anger swells up in him again for no good reason and fills his throat until he stands up and throws himself onto his messy bed. It builds in his shoulders and runs down to his fingertips in time with the music even when he muffles his head under a pillow. It's like an itching hot syrup crawling up in his veins, and it's so annoying and it _hurts_ and he's just tired of all of this. Every year over and over the same shit. It's exhausting.

Eventually he can't breathe and has to resurface. With his ears free he can hear the music again, and it's so steady and soft that he bursts into tears. Sitting up against the headboard, surrounded by pillows, Taako wraps his arms around his knees and leans his head down to watch the tears land on his shirt. The music slows over time but never stops, and it's still a while before Taako tires himself out. When he does, the music is still playing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one hurt to write tbh lmao. as i was editing it at nigh one in the morning "[old lovers in dressing rooms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuYVjUNrdA)" by keaton (yea) henson came on, and i realized it's the song kravitz played, and i'm really really sorry
> 
> anyway, everything's pre-written so there should b no worries but i have mid-terms this week and next so every other day posting might get just a bit delayed idk. i'm real excited for y'all to read what's coming up next tho
> 
> WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH Y'ALL thank you so FUCKING much for all the kudos and comments, i didn't think i had it in me but your support has gotten me through almost twenty five thousand words of this and i really really appreciate it so much


	11. cycle 9 — music from the pleasure boat

This is the first world in some time that's been similar to their home, and everyone is excited for the opportunity to relish in what Taako calls "some unhuman decency for once."

They don't take too kindly to strangers, though, and especially those who fly in out of nowhere on a floating ship full of literal alien technology. When they land after a few days the people they had expected to be welcoming actually drive them off. It's discouraging, to say the least.

At first they try to sneak into the city, creeping through alleys on the fringes of town figure out where they've taken the Light, but news of their initial banishment had spread quickly, and the crew members who had talked directly to people are driven out again on sight.

It takes some time, but they come up with a new plan. The only people whose faces hadn't been seen that first meeting were Davenport, who'd been at the helm, Lucretia, who watched from the top deck, and Kravitz, who had been taking a nap.

(He won't live that down for a long time.)

It leaves him one of the few able to leave the ship and not get mobbed, though, so he'll take the slings and arrows he knows are borne of jealousy. Taako in particular is going stir crazy, especially since he hadn't even done anything but, by virtue of having the same face as his twin, still couldn't leave. The surrounding forest had some casualties, that's for sure.

With Davenport, Lucretia, and Kravitz able to investigate, they find out where the Light is fairly easily. An archeologist had been on a solo dig on the outskirts of the forest near where the light had fallen and had taken it back to the university. They and a team of other researchers were studying it in an undisclosed location, but by drifting through jobs where names weren't required the three find out about a presentation of the Light (which they call Otagnum after a legend) for some of the smartest, richest, and most influential people in the city.

So a heist it is.

After some maneuvering they come up with covers for all of them—Davenport as a janitor in one of the museums connected to the university, Lucretia as a rare book dealer, and Kravitz as the long lost grandson of the fourth wealthiest family in town, major alums that had had a daughter conveniently run away some time ago. They stagger their entrances into their lives, planning, playing their parts, and gaining trust. Lucretia gets hired at the university's research library almost immediately and truly enjoys it, and Davenport is happy so long as he's able to return to the ship every night, but Kravitz...

Well, Kravitz has issues adjusting, that's true.

Whereas Lucretia and Davenport at least have time where they can be themselves, Kravitz can't ever drop the act. The Arceneauxs buy it more easily than they'd expected, taking Kravitz in immediately, and he feels bad about lying to them up until the fourth day straight of his crash course in Arceneaux family history, at which point he just wants to go home. Lucretia visits Lord Arceneaux about his library sometimes and he can speak freely with her then (actually, Kravitz suspects the Arceneauxs are setting them up, which is just another reason he's glad there's only a few months left) but it's not the same. The one time he tries to leave for more than a few hours, though, they send the old maid Dorothee after him, and she's already suspicious and kinda scary, so he can't risk it again. He wants to so badly, but he can't.

Kravitz misses the Starblaster. He misses folding laundry with Julia, and helping Lucretia copy local texts, and the sound of Lup singing in the shower. He misses being the first awake in the morning and starting coffee for when Taako comes out to blearily make pancakes. He misses breakfast with the people he cares about.

After a couple of months Kravitz gains enough of the Arceneauxs trust that he's able to sneak out through the city's relaxing security sometimes, if only just to lay on his bed and stare at a familiar ceiling. He hadn't realized it until now, but falling asleep in the same room almost every night for nine years with it being almost your only source of constancy made it hard to sleep anywhere else. Kravitz gets to wake up early again, gets to help Taako make mountains of scrambled eggs, gets to pass Lucretia the bacon and watch Lup make toast with the tip of her finger. It's only ever a weekend at a time, but it's just enough to sustain him for the days in between.

Now Kravitz stands in front of a mirror, smoothing down the grey vest under his jacket and smiling absently at his little skull cufflinks, his one person inside joke. It's the night of the gala, and he's looking around the room one last time before he hopefully never has to see it again.

He heads down to the waiting gilded carriage, packs himself in with his pseudo family, and follows the crowd up into the museum. There stands the Light of Creation, encased in glass, in the middle of the gallery surrounded by powerful people acting as though they couldn't care less.

As his large acquaintance make schmoozing small talk, Kravitz watches the room and thinks the plan through over and over again. It isn't that the plan is all that complicated—mostly it was just cut the lights, grab the Light, and run—but knowing that it will all be over soon is the only thing keeping him sane. If he never has to hear about this city's politics, or which lord had fucked which, or any of that ever again he will die a happy man.

Lady Arceneaux keeps Kravitz trapped in conversation with some professors, and their dialogue is interesting enough that he doesn't immediately say fuck it to the plan and run away, but thankfully it isn't long until Lucretia appears with an interesting change of plans of her own.

"Doctor Belmore!" Lady Arceneaux misses Kravitz's completely dumbfounded stare as she reaches out to shake Lucretia's hand. "And, sorry, who is your friend?"

Taako holds out a limp and heavily bejeweled hand. "Court Stephson, universally beloved novelist at large. Charmed."

Lady Arceneaux awkwardly shakes it, glancing over at Lucretia just in time to miss the wink Taako throws Kravitz's way. He's wearing a huge purple beaded cape thing and about three pounds of the gaudiest jewelry he owns, and he is ridiculously conspicuous, but Kravitz is so happy to see him he doesn't even notice.

"Court here is an old friend looking to write about Otagnum," Lucretia explains. "Court, this is Lady Arceneaux and her grandson, Remy."

Taako offers his hand again and Kravitz glares at him as he has to bend a little to kiss it, which only serves to make him smile even wider.

"I've heard a lot about you Remy," Taako says slyly, not letting go of Kravitz's hand. "Sort of a miracle boy, aren't you?"

It takes all of Kravitz's self-control not to roll his eyes. "Thank you," he gets out, "though I can't say I've heard that one before. It's Court, yes?"

"I'm sorry," Lady Arceneaux interrupts, "but have we met before? You look  _ so _ familiar."

Taako waves a hand dismissively. "I get that all the time. Hey, mind if I borrow the prodigal grandson for a sec? I have some questions about, uh, music's your thing, right? That."

He takes Kravitz's arm before anyone can answer and steers him effortlessly across the room. They find an alcove near the bar and as soon as they're out of anyone's earshot Taako pounces.

"First: what the  _ hell _ is up with the accent?"

"It's part of the character," Kravitz defends, but he can't stop grinning and it doesn't come out nearly as smooth as he intended.

"Right, right." Taako smirks, snags a flute of champagne off the tray of a passing waiter, and throws it back. "And it just so happens to sound _exactly_ like your panic accent."

"I have no idea what you could possibly mean."

"Well,  _ Remy _ , I'm glad you've found people who value your skills."

"You know what, Court?" Kravitz leans down and smiles. "I think perhaps I have."

Taako flushes as he glares and smacks Kravitz's arm with the back of his hand (too many rings, ouch). Across the room Lucretia catches Kravitz's eye and silently begs for him to come back, but the thought of listening to his "grandmother" namedrop a dozen people he doesn't need to hear about ever again when Taako is over here being all interesting and genuine is unfathomable.

"But really," Kravitz says, turning back to where Taako is looking at him with a waiting raised eyebrow, "what are you doing here?"

Taako shrugs. "Luce wanted some backup, and I'm not one to turn down free food or a chance to dress up. Plus, gotta get out of that house."

A glance at his pocket watch tells Kravitz there's still time before they need to put the plan into action and he smiles. "Well, I'm glad you're here."

Another group of people sweeps past them, pushing them closer to the wall and each other, and among them is the same waiter from earlier. He now has an array of hors d'oeuvres on his tray and as he walks past Taako lifts the entire thing without looking. The waiter does a double take, but Taako still doesn't look away from Kravitz.

"Rangoon?"

"Uh..." Kravitz glances at the floundering waiter apologetically. "Sure."

They watch the people milling about for a moment, remarking on the Light in its glass case in the middle of the room, doing whatever it is the elite do when amongst each other. The archeologist is standing next to it, explaining something to a small group that includes Kravitz's "grandparents" and Lucretia. For a second Kravitz's mind slips back into autopilot, calculating how long it will take to get in place, the probability one of the security guards on the more crowded side will reach the Light first. Lucretia is closer, so when Davenport trips the switch—

It's only when Taako nudges him in the side that Kravitz realizes he's been spaced out for longer than he'd thought. The tray is almost empty, and Taako is licking cream cheese from his fingers as he waits for some kind of answer.

"Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night."

Taako nods slowly and asks, "That Arceneaux life getting you down?"

Kravitz takes the last rangoon and eats it to buy himself time. Taako is looking at him closely, his serious expression conflicting with his ridiculous demeanor, and Kravitz knows he's not going to get away with a bullshit answer. It's like this sometimes, moreso since they've sunk into the rhythm of their cyclical lives—Kravitz withdraws, reticent and slow to answer, like the entire world is three inches to the right and he needs the time to translate, and Taako is always waiting there for him to come back to so he can try to explain what happened and, in putting it into words, understand it himself.

"I didn't think it would be this hard," Kravitz says carefully. "Pretending to be someone I'm not—I mean, I used to do it all the time, until it just stopped being worth it, but it's exhausting. At first it was fine, you know, all funsy fun make believe," he waves a hand, missing the way Taako's face flinches into a grin for a moment, "but it just got so  _ draining _ being someone else every second of every day. I don't know, I'm just ready to go home."

For a moment, he thinks they're about to have a real heart to heart for the first time ever, with back and forth and reassurances and eye contact and everything. He's  _ afraid _ they are—he doesn't have time for this now, they have things to do that don't involve him unpacking weeks and then years of trauma right here in the middle of a dinner party when he's supposed to be pulling off some audacious heist. Kravitz thinks to himself that it's a very  _ him _ problem to have, being too busy to deal with his issues. It doesn't stop it from being true, though.

Then Taako bursts into laughter so loud it draws questioning stares from a few nearby partiers.

"'Funsy fun make believe'?" He eventually gets out. "Really? Gods, we gotta get you back around normal people asap."

Kravitz sighs and rolls his eyes, but he is smiling anyway, and kindly allows Taako to sling an arm around his shoulders.

"You're kind of an asshole, you know that?" He asks facetiously.

Taako laughs again and leans into him. When Kravitz glances down he thinks he sees some real concern behind the giggles, but that could be just that he's happy to be off the ship for once.

"I don't know if I'd necessarily call you all normal," he continues, "but yes, it'll be good to be back."

Lucretia appears then at Kravitz's elbow and starts to drag them both towards the center of the room wordlessly.

"Oh boy!" Taako grabs some more champagne on his way and hands one to Kravitz, toasting him right before the lights go out. "Showtime!"

A few minutes later, when the four of them are running through the night with the Light safely in Lucretia's arms, Taako's cape whips into Kravitz's face, and he only laughs. The others are waiting at the top of the gangplank, waving them over excitedly, Julia with an arm around Lup's waist to keep her from falling off the ship and a proud looking Hecuba holding the top of the railing.

And Kravitz knows in the morning there will be coffee and Taako's special occasion chocolate waffles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HONESTLY I WANNA WRITE AN ENTIRE FIC OF THIS IT WAS SO MUCH FUN, REMY ARCENEAUX AND COURT STEPHSON, THEY LIKE HUNT GHOSTS AND SHIT PROBABLY
> 
> this went through a metric fuckton of edits before posting but i'll probably touch it up later this week. rn i reeeeeally gotta finish this austen report lmao (i'll be fine but i DID really wanna post this first)


	12. cycle 31 — the same to him

One of the things Taako hates most is wet cold. Wet hot was almost as awful—the humidity always fucked with his hair—but wet cold was definitely the worst. The damp, the chill, like slimy river rocks and when you get rained on and then a breeze comes through. There's nothing more uncomfortable in this or any world, and Taako absolutely hates it, so finding himself trapped in a dungeon for months on end with only a small barred window that let in the rain was pretty much hell for him.

As badly as Taako is taking it, though, Kravitz is eighty times worse. He already has circulation issues and the constant draft and damp do nothing to help. Kravitz shivers constantly, despite the fact that their jailers were kind enough to give them extra blankets (although it was mostly so they could keep their supposed bargaining chips alive). They'd been thrown down there for trespassing in the winter but it rained all the time anyway, so when the spring came it only got worse.

Now, don't get him wrong, Taako loves the guy, but if Kravitz sneezes one more time he's going to finally put them both out of their miseries and set the room on fire. When Kravitz sneezes particularly hard and the sound echoes down the chambers, Taako can't contain his frustrated groan.

"Sorry," Kravitz says. He wipes his nose on his handkerchief, which he's been pretty much using all his spells slots on magicing clean as is frequently necessary. It's started to get mildly warmer and they can even see the grass outside growing lush again, but with that has come allergies, and more sneezing, and Taako is going _crazy_.

"Not your fault, bubbeleh," he says, but his heart isn't in it and Kravitz can tell.

Pulling his blanket taut around his shoulders, Kravitz apologizes again like it's a capital letter to start every sentence before continuing, "I don't know why you're still here. I mean, you could get out whenever you wanted."

Taako holds up his hands in answer, spreading out his fingers where a few wisps of liquid purple and gold gather and then dissipate. "I got nothing." He drops his hands and folds up his knees under him onto his little cot. "Exhaustion, hunger, all that good shit. Spooky mama still answering?"

"Don't call her that," Kravitz says, because that's what he always says, and then sighs. "Apparently yes, although I don't have much either."

He stares down at the damp floor, then does the same as Taako, although he pulls his knees up his chest and tucks them under his topmost blanket. He has about four of them, for all the good that it does. Hair flopped down over his eyes, wool over his head, feet tucked up in front of him, Kravitz is the picture of sickness. It's so pitiful and precious that when he sniffles again Taako almost coos.

Based on Kravitz's weak glare Taako surmises he did indeed accidentally coo out loud, and as recompense Taako moves to sit next to him. He manages to wrangle his own blanket around the both of them just before another cold brush of air whistles down the hall, although Kravitz still visibly shivers.

"Alright, bones," Taako says as he tries to wiggle himself under Kravitz's blankets as well. "Make room for Taako."

Kravitz does, almost knocking Taako out when he sneezes and his arm smacks into the back of his head.

"Sorry again," Kravitz says. He gets all the blankets around them and fits his arm over Taako's shoulder carefully under the layers.

It's a lot more comfortable with two of them sharing the warmth, although Taako can still feel cold air sneaking in by his toes. They'd lost their shoes some time ago, the leather destroyed by the water, and the terrible extra socks the guards had given them didn't really do much. Another thing for Taako to add to his list of "reasons why this planet sucks" that he will recite to everyone who let them rot down there for so long.

"Watch yourself." Taako glares. "Don't use up all your goodwill or I'm gonna throw you under the bus the second we get out of here."

For awhile they sit there quietly, waiting for the feeling to return to their extremities. It starts to drizzle quietly outside, a faint spray reaching down into the dungeon as the drainage system they have at the castle is quite shit. Taako stares boredly at the roughly hewn dark grey stone making up the wall opposite (and the one next to that, and the other one next to _that_ , and the wall they're leaning up against, and the floor and the ceiling and gods Taako is sick of it) and waits to be able to move his toes again.

When Kravitz takes a preparatory breath in, of course, Taako can feel it.

"Aren't you worried?" He asks after a moment.

Kravitz is slumped back against the wall, bent over and turned in so he can cover half of his face with a blanket corner. Even though he's just slightly taller than Taako, he feels so tiny, curled up completely even as Taako's toes still peek out from under the blanket. When Taako moves to look down at him, Kravitz looks over into the opposite corner just too slowly to be noticed.

"What d'you mean?"

"Well..." Kravitz sits up a little more. "Aren't you worried something's happened to the rest of the crew? I mean, why else would they have just left us down here? What if something's gone wrong?"

"Maybe they think we're dead," Taako offers. "Got pneumonia down here or some shit, were executed, generally too long gone to help. Pretty safe assumption, I'd think."

"But what if they're gone, or captured too, or something?" Panic starts to creep into Kravitz's voice, slightly muffled by his stuffy nose. "What happens if there's no one to fly the ship out at the end of the year, what if this is it and we're just going to die permanently in this dungeon and never even know what happened to everyone else because we were miserable and alone?"

"Hey. Roll it back, kemosabe."

Taako reaches out to fix the blanket that's slipped off of Kravitz's shoulder. Looking at him head on, _really_ looking, he finds that Kravitz is even worse than he had previously thought. His cheeks are gaunt, not in the normal "shapeshifting bonemelt" way but the "deathly ill" one, his hair is limp from months of unwash, and he looks sad—not the way that Kravitz is meant to look, not a poorly disguised embarrassment or an assured security in his abilities or a dorky enthusiasm. As much as Taako knows it's not always the case, he's still a little thrown every time he sees Kravitz as anything less than put together, or at least happy.

"You alright?" He asks once he realizes he's been staring for maybe too long.

Kravitz laughs in quiet hysterics and pulls the blankets around him as he falls slowly into Taako. As Taako's arm settles around him from where it had been holding the blanket, Kravitz shakes his head and says, "No, not really."

He's shaking, not just with cold now, and not just with laughter either. The rickety cot below them wobbles dangerously and Taako sticks out one socked foot to steady them. Taako doesn't know what to say, what to do, and he's not in any way used to being in any kind of emotional authority, but he wants to do _something_.

When Kravitz has to stop to sneeze again he continues much more morosely, "I wish this year was over already."

Taako rubs his shoulder for a moment, then says, "Soon. Worst case scenario we get too cold and conk out for the last three months."

"Worse case scenario we never come back at all," Kravitz quietly corrects.

Taako doesn't have an answer for that, and he doesn't need one, as there's only a few days more before Julia's delighted face fills the window above them and fishes them out. They don't talk about it, but Taako can't help it if he gets a little more worried when Kravitz's gets his yearly winter cold, and if he keeps the shitty socks as a reminder, well, no one else would get it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> home again home again boyos, it's time for FEELINGS
> 
> them being stuck in a dungeon is an homage to [the world's greatest taako & barry fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11852247) which i admire deeply and wish i was talented and prescient enough to write, and which i suppose this entire work in some ways takes after


	13. cycle 15 — a violent wonder

"Think of the view, he said, it'll be fun, he said." Taako collapses back against the eight hundredth step and lets out what little air is left in his body. "I think I'm going to die for real this time."

Kravitz chuckles, but he's also winded as he leans against the cathedral wall above Taako's prone body. "Okay, so maybe this wasn't my greatest idea."

Taako glares up at him. "Krav, this isn't even in the same _system_ as your most mediocre ideas."

"But we've come this far..." With a sigh Kravitz falls down onto the step next to him. "We can't give up _now_ , they'll never let us live it down."

"Well, Taako for one is a quitter." He puts his hands on his thighs and levers himself up to sit also. "So I'm gonna just Blink my way downstairs, and I'll see you in four days when I wake up from my exhaustion nap."

"No," Kravitz whines as he leans into Taako until they're both about to fall over, "we're almost there, we can do this."

Taako groans. "Will you at least let me just fucking teleport us up there? Come on, let the magic boy do his thing."

"Save it for the trip back." Kravitz stands up and holds out his hand, which Taako almost uses to pull him back down, but he caves and stands. He dusts off his red pants, his boots, his billowy white shirt (he looks _really_ nice, it's an outfit Taako doesn't know why he's wasted on this, but he couldn't stop himself) drooping from exertion, and follows Kravitz up.

The last few flights of stairs, above the choir loft, are wood as opposed to the yellowing marble of the main body of the cathedral, and once they pass the bells there's nothing but ladders and the general suggestion of footholds.

"You know," Taako remarks as they sort of scramble through the twisting buttresses towards the hatch door above them, "if it weren't for the fact that death isn't permanent for us and also I can like just fucking turn into a bird or something whenever I want, this would be absolutely terrifying."

"Well, at least one good thing has come of being stuck in an infinite loop of apocalypses."

When they get to the roof, the sun is starting to set. Lined by a forest of spires, there are crumbling floral swirls and gargoyles everywhere with noses and twists missing. The cathedral was abandoned long ago when the nearby city was flooded and its citizens moved on to build the bustling metropolis the Starblaster had landed in eleven months ago. Kravitz had suggested they climb it as one last hurrah, and Taako had been the only one unlucky enough to not immediately have an excuse not to join him.

Now, at the top, he only slightly regrets it. The view is admittedly beautiful, sweeping over the hills that obscure the new city with the ruins of old stone buildings peeking out of the grass, and the cathedral itself equally, awe-inspiringly so. From below it was imposing, but from above it is evocational. Rows and rows of buttresses slide down over the lower terraces, ornamented with their own little towers, and somehow makes such dense and heavy stone look lighter than air.

In the sunlight the marble is orange and pink, in contrast with the greys of the square below and the green of the hills just beyond reclaiming the land. Far below them light is glancing off the cathedral's huge bronze doors, casting oddly shaped shadows across the square.

It's absolutely beautiful, and slightly off-putting, instituting a heavy feeling in Taako's chest like he's stepped into the middle of a dream he knows has some other meaning that he doesn't understand. They both stand there in quiet consideration for a moment before heading over to the edge, and Kravitz leans his head out amidst the spires as Taako climbs up to dangle his legs over the side.

When Kravitz looks over, he can just see the front of Taako's face peeking out, and the wind whistles over the stone and grass to push Taako's hair and red sash into sight as well. He looks serious and distracted but Kravitz can't help but imagine what he would look like in this setting laughing and being snide and all the the things that make Taako who he is.

"Copper for your thoughts?"

Taako hums in a way that means absolutely nothing.

"Gold piece?"

At that Taako laughs, and he leans back enough to look over at Kravitz. "That's more like it."

He doesn't continue, though, so Kravitz keeps staring until he sighs and says, "Alright, skeletor, geez."

"So?"

Taako climbs back down and goes to the middle of the roof to lie down, despite all his assertions that he had to "respect the look" on the way up. After a second Kravitz joins him, putting back on his red robe and letting it spread out beneath him, and the stone is so warm that he feels like he could melt right down through it.

"You ever get tired of all this?"

Kravitz turns to look at Taako, who is still staring up at the clouds. "What do you mean?"

"You know," Taako shifts, "how none of it stays."

"We stay."

"You know what I mean."

Kravitz sits up, his hands on his knees, and Taako just glances over with no expression. "That's what keeps me sane," he says. "The thought that even if everything else is pointless and will evaporate in a year at most, we still have each other."

While Kravitz is talking Taako sits up too, still staring at him blankly.

"I..."

For just a second Kravitz hesitates, and then he puts his hand on Taako's on the ground between them. Taako's eyes widen, but he doesn't flinch, so Kravitz takes it as a sign to continue.

"You're important to me, Taako, and I'm very glad I get to have so much time with you."

"Yeah..." Taako says slowly, carefully. "Me too. Listen, Krav—"

But he stops himself as Kravitz tilts forward subconsciously. The space between them starts to shrink, slowly at first, then slightly faster as Taako starts to reciprocate. There is sunlight trapped between them and Kravitz feels unbelievably _warm_ , and then—

Taako puts a hand on his chest and jerks back. "Wait," he says, so quietly Kravitz wouldn't hear it if there were any other sounds but theirs, "what the fuck."

"I was just—"

"What the _fuck_ , dude?"

Kravitz looks without seeing as Taako jumps up, his eyes still stuck two second ago when they were still face to face.

"Nuh uh, nope, _what_?"

"Taako..."

Kravitz scrambles up and follows him as he starts pacing across the rooftop. He feels disoriented, the sudden tonal whiplash leaving him not even able to process what's currently happening, only that Taako is walking _away_ and _why_?

"You have got to be kidding me," Taako says. "Are you serious with this shit?"

"With what?"

"With all the..." Taako flaps his hands ineloquently. "The kissing and the flirting and shit, seriously?" Half a dozen half-formed words scatter from his mouth, littering the marble roof between them, and he's not sure if any of it makes sense but none of it can make sense, it's not allowed to.

"I thought you—?"

One of Kravitz's hands raises of its own accord and tries to hold Taako's shoulder, but Taako smacks it and he jerks back.

"No."

"Oh."

"I mean—" And now Taako is the one left unsure as a look of sickening guilt passes over Kravitz's face for a moment and comes back to stay in the back of his irises, and Taako starts to second guess that maybe he really meant it, that maybe it wasn't just a casual accident, that he really—

"No, I understand."

And Kravitz is gone, turning down to the ladder and climbing out of sight. In the few seconds before he disappears, Taako recognizes the way his shoulders straighten, the way his head is high but his eyes won't look anywhere other than the ground.

Taako sits on the roof and stares down at the square below, his eyes drawn every time to the clumps of grass poking up every so often to interrupt the smooth lines of the geometric patterns. After a moment, he disappears straight into his bedroom. He sits there and stares at the wall until Lup comes to get him for dinner. He doesn't say a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> folks, we are solidly into the third act here (okay, proportionally speaking, fourth, but content type wise it's third) so here's The Pain. yup, that's right, it's time for the much alluded to parkour ep
> 
> the cathedral is inspired by the milan cathedral, which i used to have a recurring dream about where it was sunk into a black beach and was being eroded by an acidic sea, although it's much bigger and also idk if they have a choir loft, or bells, but whatever, it's a dnd podcast fanfic. also a little bit like the church from sense8, you know the one, but not so dirty, it's more sandy if you can believe that
> 
> i'm on fall break!!!!! i'm gonna try to pace myself posting this and use my free time to read all the books i'm supposed to and probably more than likely work on my modern day hamlet play, but yeah! i can't wait for y'all to have all this in your grasps, especially cuz then you can read it in "chronological" order with this smack dab in the middle


	14. cycle 22 — elegy to what it signifies

For the first time in their journey thus far, they land in a world more technologically advanced than their origins. Most of it is similar enough—the grass, the boats, and they even have two suns, just like home, but on Robinsay they have all sorts of mechanical things, the likes of which none of the IPRE has ever seen. Wagons that run without horses, an interconnected web of energy that connects their houses and devices, crops that sprout almost the moment they're planted, and the ability to converse with not only animals and plants but even creatures outside their planet. Lucretia fills three times as many journals as she normally does, taking down detailed notes on everything they see. They hand over the Light easily enough, saying that they don't really need it, and the crew have pretty much the entire year to just relax and explore this new world.

As a whole they find their favorite place to hang out together is the tarmac. The people of Robinsay have invented something like the Starblaster, although less ship looking and more like a big metal tube, that flies through the air too and comes in all shapes and sizes and colors that collect on the pavement outside of town. They bring out snacks and blankets and watch the pilots flip and spiral. Davenport even learns to fly one, doing loops in the air and chasing the other pilots as the crew cheers enthusiastically down below. He's ecstatic to finally have someone to race, and does so many many times, even teaching Lup how to fly too, although she's a bit too easily distracted and has enough near misses trying to shoot down the others that the locals stop lending her their ships.

One night it's just Taako and Kravitz as the others are out at the festival that had started earlier in the week. They had both gone with the others the night before and had seen all they'd wanted to, but Lup was adamant that they not just sit around the ship all night and forced them down to the tarmac to watch the night flights. She'd shoved them out the door, Kravitz with a blanket and Taako with a bottle of wine and a wink, and locked it behind them, so they'd gone along with it.

It's a clear night and the grass is still warm from the suns. Kravitz spreads out their blanket and they sit down as Taako starts to pull all sorts of snacks from the deep pockets of his coat. Biscuits, fruit, more candy than anyone should have on their person at any given time, cover the blanket between them, and Kravitz chuckles as he picks up one of the little bags.

"You still have some of these?" He asks, holding up the chocolates. They're from home, somehow, and probably a little stale, but so familiar looking Kravitz can't help but feel a dull pang of nostalgia.

"Been saving them for a special occasion," Taako says as he uncorks the bottle and takes a swig. Nice. Lup's got good taste. "Figure this is as good as any. Carpe that noctem or whatever."

Kravitz nods and accepts the bottle when Taako hands it to him. As he drinks, Taako sprawls back on his elbows. There aren't many ships out yet as most people are either at the fair or already gone for the holiday, but the stars are beautiful enough to distract. They are clear and bright, the city lights hidden behind the distant hills to their right. Wind whistles softly through the tall grass of the rest of the field and Taako sighs.

"We never really have any quiet anymore, huh?"

"You say that like you have no part in it."

"Me?" Taako feigns indignance and takes back the bottle. "Why I never!"

Kravitz just laughs and eats more of the chocolate. Secretly Taako is pleased as all goes according to plan and passes back the bottle, counting down the sips until Kravitz will start to talk. T minus ten.

He's been acting off for a while, even as things have gotten much better between the two of them (which Taako steadfastly refuses to think about, as much as his conscious and Lup both have tried to force otherwise). Part of the reason Taako had let her push them out the door was to get a chance to investigate and hopefully fix whatever it is.

The other, admitted part was free wine and a night away from "those chucklefucks", as Taako had explained to Kravitz on the way over.

Above them a set of colored lights dips and starts to circle. Taako sits up to better watch the ship bank down to the pavement. When it slows to a stop and people clamber out, Taako whoops and claps, and the familiar pilot at the front window waves at them.

Taako doesn't notice until he sits down again but Kravitz is still on the ground, staring blankly down into the bottle. He's rolling it in his hands and watching the liquid slosh around inside and he looks so _sad_ , like a starving kitten, Taako wants to hug him and never let go in a squishy little kid way.

But because he's a grown ass adult, he plops back down on the blanket and steals the bottle again, chugs a large amount of it, and then gives it back to Kravitz as he stifles a burp.

"Well alright then..." Kravitz tries to take a significantly smaller sip but fails as Taako puts a finger on the bottom of the bottle and tips it back and back until it looks like Kravitz is about to drown.

"Why."

Kravitz doesn't sound too mad, so Taako counts that as another win.

"I got shit to do, homie," he says as he digs through the pile of snacks in the middle of the blanket. "Gonna need you to pick up the pace."

"What kind of shit?" Kravitz asks as he takes another sip anyway.

"The kinda shit that's gotten you down for the past couple of months."

Taako chomps on a chip for emphasis and raises his eyebrows casually as Kravitz chokes. Waiting for him to recover, Taako internally gags. Sour cream and onion. Can't break the cool facade though.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kravitz says when he can breathe normally again.

With a groan Taako falls back and flings his arms out across the entire blanket. Talking to people about emotions is so hard, and they're not even his emotions this time. Why does he even bother?

( _Because you care about him_ , the snarky part of his conscious that sounds suspiciously like Lup reminds him, _duh_.)

Kravitz isn't answering, absentmindedly peeling at the label, so Taako whacks him with a knee.

"Spill."

"My cat died."

"Oh no." Taako can hear his voice uncharacteristically sweet, like the audible equivalent of a very small frowny face. He sits up and looks at Kravitz, who doesn't show any sign of actually having said anything until Taako puts a hand on his shoulder. "Gwyneth?"

Kravitz nods slightly and Taako hugs him sideways, his chin on Kravitz's shoulder. "Aw, boo, I'm sorry. She was a good ol' cat."

When Taako starts to sway them back and forth Kravitz laughs a little and ducks his head.

"It's silly."

"No way, dude," Taako squeezes him, "she _was_ a good ol' cat, you had her for ages, it makes sense."

Kravitz shrugs again and Taako squeezes him one last time before letting go. "So."

"So."

"When's the funeral?"

"I, uh," Kravitz looks down, sad and embarrassed both, "I buried her a couple weeks ago. Hecuba let me put her in the garden."

"Hold up." Taako holds up a hand. "Two things." And folds down all but two fingers.

Once Kravitz is properly attentive, Taako continues, "First: You told Hecuba before me. Second: You had a funeral without me even though you knew how badly I want to road test my goth Victorian outfit."

Kravitz rolls his eyes, but what little life had been brought back to them is gone again as he takes a drink, so Taako switches tactics.

"You could have told me," he says quietly, dropping his hands.

"I know..." Kravitz swallows and pokes around at some of the smushed snacks that Taako had leaned on. It's a shame the brownies had to go like that—Taako had been looking forward to them—but they were necessary collateral in the war against Kravitz's melancholia.

"Can we still have a funeral, even if you already buried her?" Taako wonders aloud. "Is bird mom okay with that?"

"I think she just likes the pageantry of it all," Kravitz says, not bothering with his typical reprimand.

"Cheers to that." Taako pulls a second bottle out of his coat pocket and clinks the neck of it against Kravitz's. "And to Gwyneth!"

"To Gwyneth," he echoes. It startles a laugh out of Kravitz that continues even as they drink simultaneously, and continuing drinking for longer than they should.

When Lup comes to get them in the morning, they're cuddled in the middle of the blanket, surrounded by bottles and wrappers, a bunch of black lace, and scribbled plans on the back of wine bottle wrappers for what seems to be a necromantic cat farm that Lup can't wait to tattle on them for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspiration ever so slightly drawn from my favorite favorite favorite book ever written, good omens, as i just reread it yesterday and forgot about the scene were aziraphale and crowley get drunk on the empty landing strip as some dude comes to pick up the remnants of the apocalypse like it's the end of indiana jones or some shit. god i love them......
> 
> uh. anyway. good omens aside, some of my favorite chapters are coming up soon, and also, like, the end. i'll save the mushy gushy for chapter 20 but like thanks


	15. cycle -3 — pine, hair, woman, you and i

In the fall the IPRE headquarters is beautiful. Set down in a long, flat valley spotted with trees, the sturdy white buildings shine amidst the changing leaves. It's only Kravitz's second year at the lab here but he already has a favorite bench on which to eat lunch and watch the yellow and orange shift in the breeze. Up on a hill, across the grounds from the building that holds the basement necromancy labs he spent all day in, he sits with his sandwich or soup or whatever and savors his brief time away from harried interns and arcane accidents.

It's on one such afternoon on said bench that Kravitz is eating his bagel and sees them. They're pretty hard to not notice. Two largely similar figures further down the quad dancing around each other, shooting sparks and swirls of magic at each other as they walk down the grass. One of them aims at the ground in front of the other and it turns to lacquered wood, which is apparently slicker than it looks because they fall down almost immediately and slide a few feet. Kravitz stifles a laugh and tries to act natural just in case they're close enough to hear.

After a few more volleys of pyrotechnics and miniature snow storms they end up a little in front of Kravitz's bench. He can now make out more detail and defining features, enough so that they turn into two distinct elves as opposed to identical red blobs—they're both blonde, but one has shoulder length hair with brown roots and the other has a long, flawless, uninterrupted braid. They're both dressed fantastically, although the one with the braid sort of looks like they got dressed in a costume shop in the dark, whereas the other one looks so cool and sleek that it makes Kravitz feel like he's the fumbling dork he was in high school again.

The one who had slipped earlier goes for the knees and trips the one with the braid with a row of molehills suddenly appearing right in front of them. They slide forward and almost run directly into Kravitz's feet.

"Oh fuck you, Lulu," the elf says, sitting up and dusting off their shorts and long coat. The one standing above them laughs and doesn't show any sign of helping them up.

"Sorry about my brother." The elf still standing (Lulu?) turns to address Kravitz. She crosses her arms over her red leather jacket and smirks. "He's bad at walking."

"Am not!" Her brother responds immediately, then turns back to see who she's talking to. When he sees Kravitz, he raises an eyebrow and sticks out a hand, saying, "I'm Taako, that's Lup, and you're hot."

Kravitz, who had just started leaning down awkwardly to shake his hand, blushes furiously and straightens. "I—"

Lup doubles over in laughter and Kravitz feels himself blushing harder still, but Taako just continues to hold out his hand with his flirtatiously expectant face.

"You got yourself a name, handsome?" Taako asks. "Or am I just gonna have to come up with one myself?"

"Ludwig," Lup offers.

"Albarn."

"Crystal Gail."

"Suricious."

"Abraxas McKnight, Lord of Darkness."

"Goth Boy Wonder."

"Captain Cheekbones."

"The Dread Pirate Hot Stuff."

"Kravitz," Kravitz answers when it becomes apparent that he's going to have to interrupt to actually answer the question. He shakes Taako's hand before awkwardly straightening up again. "My name is Kravitz."

The twins (for they must be twins, there's no way they aren't) look at each other and each raise an identical perfect eyebrow.

"That's a good one," Lup says, nodding at Kravitz appreciatively. "Solid. Better than Taako for sure."

Taako punches her in the leg, at which point he appears to realize he's still sitting on the ground, and stands up as regally as he can manage. He brushes off his coattails and flips his braid over the opposite shoulder as Lup rolls her eyes at him. She makes a commiserating face at Kravitz, who doesn't quite know how to respond but tries to anyway—judging by her laugh, it doesn't work.

"Well, it was nice to meet you Kravitz," Taako says with a smile and a wink that say he's definitely sizing Kravitz up for... something like how easy it would be to make him scream, but Kravitz can't tell how exactly he's planning on doing that, so it's a little disconcerting. "We'll see you around, no doubt."

Kravitz just nods dumbly and Lup laughs again, although she does try to cover it this time, which he appreciates. He can't help but still be captivated by whatever it is about them both that made it hard to look away the entire time they were walking over. They're magnetic, and Kravitz doesn't feel flattered necessarily but he is curious as to why they seem to be so interested in him.

He doesn't have long to wonder, though, as Lup grabs Taako's elbow and starts to turn away. Taako wiggles his fingers at Kravitz and Kravitz reflexively waves back, smiling when Taako smiles too. A leaf from the tree they're under falls on his head and lands on his braid, the orange catching in the blonde in a way that's subtle and overbright both. It's completely in character and utterly charming.

"See ya, hot stuff!" Lup calls over her shoulder as they walk away. Taako punches her again, in the shoulder this time, and she waggles her eyebrows at him, and they disappear back towards the buildings.

It isn't until a wind picks up the leaves around him that Kravitz is shaken from his thoughts by them smacking him in the face, and he's dismayed to see a few leaves plastered to the cream cheese of his long forgotten bagel, and then at how he gets said cream cheese and leaves on his new black vest, but at the same time he can't bring himself to care. He has no idea what just happened, but he can't help but hope he at least sees them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to do some shuffling around so apologies to everyone i promised flustered kravitz to, that'll actually be a couple more days lol
> 
> this one was really fun to write, i love lup and taako, i can never get them to shut up lmao


	16. cycle 37 — a thirst for salt

One minute Kravitz is falling asleep and the next he's back on the deck of the Starblaster, blinking twined white light from his eyes and leaning on the railing where his hands, at this point, fit perfectly. He doesn't think it will ever not be jarring, going from the awareness and feeling of certainty that he is _dead_ to suddenly being unavoidably very much alive, as his hangover-esque headache so kindly reminds him every year.

As the bonds finish stitching Kravitz back into existence Kravitz himself starts to piece together what happened, although the finer details are still hazy. There was something about a plant? He's turning around redundantly like he always does to check on the rest of the crew when he sees Taako striding across the deck with determination, his boots on the wood the only sound as they fly through space.

Kravitz has his mouth half open to say something, though he doesn't know what, when Taako punches him hard in the shoulder.

"Ow, wh—" is all he manages to get out before the air is crushed from his lungs.

Taako is hugging him, his arms coming up just as suddenly as his hand had but a moment earlier, although it's not so much of a hug as it is a vice around his shoulders.

"You can't just fucking do that, asshole," Taako says, angry and upset and right in his ear. The sound of it hits Kravitz in the ribs and the jolt finally sparks the details that had slipped past him to fall into place.

All but one of them had gone out on scouting missions, unable to pinpoint where exactly the Light had fallen in the massive jungle, and Kravitz and Taako were down in the thickest part. They'd stumbled blindly for days, checking in on their stones regularly to make sure no one else had found it, and stopping every night to sleep in shifts with their backs to each other.

(And if sometimes they woke up face to face, sharing the same warm breath, or front to back, with their arms around each other, no one said anything.)

Now Kravitz remembers lying down that last night, his back pressed up against Taako's, and feeling his breathing slow more than usual. He's there again, feeling his lungs inflating tissue thin, trying to worry but being unable to do anything before (as he now knows) it was too late, his hand fumbling behind him to grab Taako's. It's dark again, thin and aerated, and Kravitz feels lightheaded until he remembers that he can just open his eyes.

"Sorry," Kravitz says after this revelation is finished clawing at his ribcage, hugging Taako back. He can tell now how quietly ragged Taako's breathing is and feels the hot press of the side of his face on Kravitz's neck. When Kravitz squeezes him, Taako inhales through his nose, not quite a sniffle but close.

"Asshole," he repeats and turns his face to breathe properly while still keeping his eyes hidden.

For a minute Kravitz just tries to ground himself. This close their pulses are indiscernible, like one's heart is pumping into the other's, and it's too much for Kravitz to swallow. He feels like he's drowning until he breathes in, his chest bumping into Taako's, and he remembers how air tastes, tinged with the smell of coconut shampoo and rising bread. It tastes so sweet and evaporates the stop in his throat and Kravitz tears up at the relief of it.

When Taako pulls back Kravitz is reassured to see him similarly affected. "If you ever try something like that again," Taako says, "I swear to gods first thing I do when we reset is kill you."  
Kravitz nods apologetically and Taako puts a hand on his chest, watching it rise and fall for a moment before latching onto him again. This time, with his head under Kravitz's and his arms around his waist, he feels _small_ , which is a word so un-Taako that it feels blasphemous to even think it.

"Waking up next to your dead body is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me."

The rest of the crew has inconspicuously disappeared belowdecks, and the only sound other than their breathing is the engine's quiet hum. Kravitz turns his head into Taako's hair a little and purses his mouth, trying not to say anything that he knows will only make it worse.

After a moment (not long enough, never long enough) Taako pulls back. This time he's defiantly wiping away tears with the back of his hand and sniffs. "I told you not to touch that damn fern thing without checking first," he says wetly, angrily. "Some fucking scientist you are."

"It's been almost forty years," Kravitz replies, falling into teasing automatically. "I was bound to slip up eventually."

Taako pushes him lightly and glares.

"Well just try to make it not so fatal next time, alright? I know death is kinda your 'thing', but I have a delicate condition. Keep it together for my sake, huh, deathlord?"

His air quotes are lackluster and so far from his usual fare that Kravitz's internal "aw" almost escapes, but he settles for brushing the wrinkles out of the shoulders of Taako's jacket and smiling apologetically.

And that night, when Taako cracks open Kravitz's door, the other side of the bed is empty and waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i woke up in the middle of the night, wrote this all in one sitting, and then immediately went back to sleep bc it hurt too much lmao
> 
> minor edits forthcoming, i've definitely also started writing that au where they're socialite husbands in the twenties who also hunt ghosts, so i'll probably post that some time this month lol


	17. cycle 13 — each particular

There's an accident. They lose Davenport, and it's fine—they have the Light and he taught everyone how to fly the ship in case of emergency, so it's only a matter of months before he's back—but there are just a few complications.

"Hey, whoever that is, hand me that wrench!"

Kravitz freezes at the bottom of the stairs. He hasn't been down here much—it's just the engines that run the heating and cooling and electricity and pretty much everything else as the bond engine only handles travel—but he's pretty sure there should be two sets of twisting pipes to his left instead of the cloud of steam he now sees Julia's greasy hand sticking out of. He steps forward cautiously and only fumbles a little bit as he passes her the heavy adjustable wrench from the toolbox just outside the cloud.

"Thanks!"

After a few seconds of clanking, the hissing stops, and Kravitz can now see Julia in her work overalls wiping her hair out of her eyes, leaving behind a smudge of grease. The steam around her starts to dissipate more quickly and although the clanking continues, Julia's smile is incredibly pleased.

"Hey!" She says around heavy breaths. "What brings you down here?"

"I was looking for the manuals again." He points a thumb back to the stairs where the sounds of frustrated groaning can now be heard over the dying noise from the pipes. "You know, just in case they turned up somewhere. Lucretia's having some problems upstairs with the controls."

"Lucretia's control issues are a well known fact," comes a voice from in the pipes and Taako rolls out on one of those wooden boards that mechanics have. "How's it going Kravalicious?"

"Uh."

Kravitz is having a hard time formulating coherent thoughts of any kind right now as Taako stands and ties his hair back up, revealing the rest of his look. He's wearing a dark green jumpsuit with the arms tied off around his waist and his bun is already quickly falling apart again. The yellow light of the belowdecks on his white shirt and the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead and arms makes him glow, and when he reaches his arms behind his back and stretches—

"I know, I know," Taako is saying when Kravitz is able to focus again. "Pretty butch, especially for me."

"Uh huh."

"But Jules needed an extra hand and Lup's asleep," he continues as though Kravitz doesn't sound like he's in the middle of choking on thin air, "so I figured now's as good a time as any to road test my grease monkey look."

Kravitz visibly swallows. "It's good. You look... nice."

"Nothing gets past you, huh?"

"No, uh... No, I suppose not."

"Well here's hoping your brain's not too scrambled." Taako hops up on his toes in his heavy but pristine boots, reaching up towards the top pipes up under the admittedly rather low ceiling. He can't quite make it, though, and gestures up at it while asking Kravitz, "Hey, help a fella out?"

It takes a second for the request to make it through his brain fog, but Kravitz realizes what he's asking and belatedly fetches the rag. He's not that much taller than Taako, and about halfway through the action he realizes that Taako could have just as easily grabbed it himself, but he doesn't question it (out loud) and passes over the rag.

As Taako wipes his hands with it he winks at him. "Thanks babe."

"No problem?"

For a moment they just stand there looking at each other, Taako twirling the rag around and Kravitz hoping that even if his flush is visible it can be easily explained away by the hotness of the room. It is hot, right? It's not just Kravitz? There's steam and stuff still, and the engines are running, it's fine.

Julia has been watching this exchange from afar and is trying not to laugh, but when it becomes apparent that Kravitz isn't going to be functional any time soon she steps in. "You guys need a hand upstairs?"

Kravitz doesn't jump, per say, but it's very close as he spins around to nod at her.

"Taako," Julia says, "you got it down here?"

"Ma'am yes ma'am."

He continues twirling the rag in one hand even as he salutes her with the other. As she heads up, Taako winks up at Kravitz, making him trip onto the metal stairs with a clang. Kravitz practically runs up the rest of the stairs right behind Julia, followed for just a moment by Taako's short laugh.

When they get to the top, Kravitz glances back down, but Taako is already back out of sight. Julia nudges his shoulder and he turns to see her knowing eyebrow at him and flushes, starting down the hall.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says as she follows him up to the top deck.

"Uh huh." Julia says in a sing-song voice, sticking her hands in the pockets of her overalls as she walks along with a distinct spring in her step. "Sure."

Kravitz picks up the pace a little and refuses to look at her. "Please shut up, I'm begging you."

"All I'm saying is I know what I saw."

They turn the corner into the control room and Kravitz finds he has such bad luck that even as she runs around the room frantically hitting buttons and switches Lucretia still finds time to ask, "What did Julia see?"

"Absolutely not a single thing."

"Okay... Julia, can you give me a hand with the pressure gauge?"

Kravitz throws himself into helping Lucretia and Julia get the ship's systems under control again, but he can't get the image of Taako in the engine room out of the back (and admittedly at times front) of his mind. Taako in the hazy yellow steam with his hair a fuzzy halo around his head, his bare arms sweaty, hip cocked, smirking at him as he wipes off his hands on a rag—no, Kravitz gets the feeling he won't be able to forget that for a long time.

It's only when Kravitz is certain the other two are far too busy to hear him, he admits it, quietly whispering to himself, "Shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does kravitz is gay? the truth come out
> 
> as we speak i am probably hitting the 4000 word mark on the ghost huntin boys and the sherlock holmes and also 2000s r&b references have started to slip in so i guess that's my weekend gone lmao


	18. cycle 25 — his small shoulders in my hands

"And then you just... Alright." Kravitz neatly sidesteps Lup's deliberate but unfortunately still misguided step. "Try not to focus so much on where you're going, just where you are."

"Who'd have thought dancing would be so damn hard," Hecuba remarks from the couch. The entire time Kravitz has been giving Lup her lesson she's been offering up half-hearted commentary over the top of her book, although the laughter in her eyes every time Lup lands hard on Kravitz's foot gives away how much she's really paying attention.

Lup sighs as Kravitz steps back to flip over the record. "Man, I just wanted to go to one of those fancy-ass parties."

"What's that you say?" Taako leans into the doorway. "Jealous of moi?"

"Shut up, goofus," Lup says, but Taako's smile doesn't waver. He's dressed to the nines, as are Lucretia and Julia behind him, and the bags under his eyes are artfully disguised. Honeymire, this world they've just landed in, is all about wining, dining, and most of all dancing, something which Taako has not let Lup and her inelegant feet hear the end of.

"I told you you should've paid better attention when Auntie taught us how to waltz," he says as he hangs up his shawl by the door. He pulls the lynchpin from his hair and it comes tumbling down around his shoulders. "You've got no finesse, sis."

"I'll show you finesse," Lup says, and Taako ducks when she lunges for his head. They grapple for a second, Lup trying to get him in a headlock and Taako valiantly wriggling his way free, until Julia sighs and pulls them apart.

"Come on, guys, I'm too tired for this." She has one hand on each other their foreheads, despite the fact that they're both taller than her, and is effortlessly keeping them apart even as her eyes droop. When Taako slackens, Julia uses both hands to steer Lup out of the room as she continues, "Lup, I can try to teach you some in the morning, but it's bedtime now."

"You're just jealous you don't have my grace and poise!" Taako calls out as she rolls her eyes and goes with Julia.

"You tripped on your own socks this morning!" She throws over her shoulder, pushing back slightly against Julia's guiding hands, and Lucretia follows them out of the room with a tiredly bemused smile. Sensing that all the fun is over, Hecuba places her bookmark and follows, leaving only Kravitz and Taako in the living room.

"She's not really doing that badly," Kravitz says after a bit. "She just thinks too much sometimes."

"Weird," Taako says, "as that's not really her thing."

"Well, it seems to have worked for you, so..." Kravitz shrugs and Taako nods a little.

"You're a good teacher," he says instead. "At the very least, you've got good taste in music."

Kravitz glances back at the record player still turning away forgotten in the corner. "Thanks. Although I'm not sure why it is you think I'm a good teacher, I do know when to just take the compliment."

"The fact that you haven't strangled your star pupil yet says a lot," Taako says with a wink, but he steps forward at the same time, "but you could always prove it to me."

"I can't teach you something you already know." Kravitz's argument is somewhat lessened by the fact that he's holding out a hand for Taako's.

Taako takes it, and they fall into the song as easily as if they had been swaying to it not just since the beginning of the song but since the beginning of time. Outwardly, they're a mismatched pair; Taako in his floor length gown and polished boots, Kravitz halfway into his pajamas with his rolled up shirtsleeves that he's obviously been wearing all day. Taako's heels give him the advantage over Kravitz's barefeet and make them the same height for once, but Kravitz isn't even aware that he could worry about getting his toes trampled as they glide smoothly back and forth across the common room.

The song begins to end more quickly than either of them is prepared to notice, but even before it starts to fade they're slowing into little circles in the middle of the room. Taako in particular leans forward until they're temple to temple, his hands meeting around the back Kravitz's neck, and he's started to sway on his feet in a way more like exhaustion than any dance. The first few days he had been like a wind up toy, running at all hours, lighting up at just the thought of the glitz and glamour of Honeymire's elegant politick, but the constant schmoozing has started to take its toll.

"Taako," Kravitz says with a little nudge when the song ends. The next one has started, an upbeat swing number, but they haven't changed pace. "Bedtime?"

Taako groans and slumps into Kravitz's shoulder before leaning down to take off his boots. He almost falls over, only caught by Kravitz's hand returning to his waist, and his eyes won't open fully anymore. Eventually he straightens up again and opens his eyes enough to look straight at Kravitz's.

" _You_ are coming planetside tomorrow night," Taako says sternly and pokes Kravitz's chest, although the act is momentarily broken by a yawn so big that Kravitz himself almost yawns as well. "No buts about it, mister. Gotta show you off to all the senators or whatever—with you on my arm we'd be unstoppable."

Kravitz raises his hands in surrender when Taako points at him and backs out of the room, stumbling when he accidentally backs up over a stack of books next to the couch.

"For someone who doesn't have to sleep, you sure tire easily," Kravitz calls out as he rounds the corner, out of sight.

"Tire _you_ out."

Taako's voice is mumbly, sleepy, and somewhat faint from down the hall, but Kravitz hears clearly the thud of boots being thrown and Lup's answering groan. He's still laughing as he goes to turn off the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i!!! love!!!!! julia!!!!!!! also we're sooooo close to the end, omg, i'm so excited
> 
> ghost detectives is taking a bit longer than i thought bc it had the nerve to evolve Plot and now i have to learn turn of the century magick and occultism, awesome, cool
> 
> (hey did you know éliphas lévi was a member of the golden dawn and the first to suggest that the upside pentagram symbolized evil, which a later golden dawn member by the name of one aleisteir crowley broke off from the main faction to found thelema, which insisted the opposite)


	19. cycle 40 — talking late last night

When they finally get home, long after the ceremony has ended and everyone else has fallen asleep, they stand in the middle of the common room for a moment. Kravitz is holding Taako's shoes, and Taako is wearing Kravitz's jacket, and they both so obviously don't want to even blink in fear of the half second they can't see each other being what breaks the spell. They start to whisper over each other everything from just plain goodnights to things they meant to say thirty years ago, and it's only when they run out of breath that they reluctantly return to their separate rooms with one last long kiss.

After all of five minutes, though, just enough for them both to change their clothes and lay anxiously in their own quiets, Taako slips into Kravitz's room. Kravitz is laying sleepy but awake in bed, his back just on the far edge of the mattress, and Taako climbs in next to him like he has so many times before, only this time he gets to _kiss_ him too, and _that_ is the second most exciting revelation of the night.

Kravitz is warm and pliable under Taako's mouth and hands, and he curls into Taako like a sunflower chasing light. He kisses both like they've been doing this for a hundred years and like they haven't seen each other in decades, and Taako is (unfortunately?) completely serious when he says it's enchanting.

Trapped between them are the intertwined fingers of one hand each, even as the others wander, and it feels like bursting at the seams and being put back together at the same time. It's more passionate than either of them really has the energy for, but that doesn't stop them from kissing until they physically cannot continue.

"I missed you," Kravitz says after they regretfully break apart, rubbing his nose against Taako's cheek that is trying valiantly to not grin.

Taako bats at Kravitz's shoulder and laughs when his response is to press even closer. Even without the usual ten blankets needed to keep him warm, Taako can feel that the skin on the other side of Kravitz's well worn shirt is warm and inviting. Taako curls into him even as he tugs on Kravitz's ear and says, "We were only apart for like two seconds, dude, come on."

"Mmm." Kravitz bumps into him again. "Two seconds too many."

"Dork," Taako snorts.

"Darling."

"Ugh."

When Kravitz rolls over and covers him like a heavy but ineffective blanket, Taako can't help the laugh that startles out of him, too loud in the night but perfectly acceptable in the context. In the dark he can still see Kravitz smile as Taako pushes him back over, saying, "Don't wanna get smushed to death, babe."

"Alright, _babe_ ," and fuck, Taako has to hide his face in Kravitz's neck just so it doesn't crack in two from the force of his smile. Hoping to distract from his obvious delight, he starts pressing kisses on whatever skin he can reach, and his smile changes from helpless to satisfied when Kravitz shivers.

"Definitely doing further investigation on _that_ tomorrow, no doubt," he says as he straightens to look Kravitz in the eye, "but sleep time now, yeah?"

"I look forward to it," Kravitz replies with what breath he has left. It takes pretty much all of Taako's restraint to not say fuck it to exhaustion and pin him to the bed right now, but the fatigue has started to set into his bones and he can barely keep his face composed long enough to feel Kravitz kiss him one last time on the forehead before he starts to droop again.

Taako leans into the kiss, and then further into Kravitz's space, ducking his head under Kravitz's and sliding a long leg between his. He has one hand tangled in the front of his shirt, one on his neck, and Kravitz's own hands on the small of his back are a warm little beacon of reality in the middle of what feels like a sea of impossibility. They've gravitated to the center of the bed, hopelessly intertwined and unwilling to move for all the world, and Taako can feel the sun start to rise underneath the window. For the first time he wishes the year never ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it everyone, the penultimate chapter! i guess i should start working on my long thank you spiel lmao but for now, a short little one that really hinges on y'all having read the first fic in this "series" (in quotes bc i'm hesitant to call two pieces a series and i will not let myself write more sdhflksh). consider this a prompt to go read that if you haven't yet to take the edge off the impending finale. see you on friday!


	20. cycle 0 — first world of undivided light

Lup and Taako are lounging in the back of the conference room, Taako doodling slowly on the corner of his informational packet, Lup with her feet up on the next row of chairs and her head on his shoulder. There are six coffee cups on the floor underneath them, all empty, and it apparently isn't enough as Taako is nodding off and Lup is pretty much fully asleep.

"Alright everyone!" Davenport slams his hands down on the podium and the small amount of feedback the mic gives off wakes the twins back up. "Good morning. Welcome to your first day of preparation for the Starblaster mission."

When Lup jerks up she kicks over the chair her feet were on and it clatters to the ground. Almost all the other other people in the room startle except for Taako, who is busy waking up, and Davenport, who just looks at her unimpressed.

"You alright, Lup?"

She gives him a thumbs up and a jokey salute as she says, "Ship shape, Cap'n."

Davenport rolls his eyes and goes back to his presentation, saying something about a opportunity and shit, but Taako isn't paying attention and instead is surveying the other faces in the room. It's pretty easy to tell which ones are just random engineering nerds anxiously jittering their legs in preparation for their presentations and which people are going to be with them on the ship for months, even though he doesn't know any of them.

There's a woman sitting just behind the podium taking notes in an official looking journal and Taako remembers something about there being a biographer or something on board, so he makes a mental note to make sure he makes a good impression with her. Right in the front is a short but strong looking woman, and a dwarf a few seats down from her, both mostly paying attention to Davenport's speech, although the dwarf looks a little bored. More nerds, Taako surmises, fill the chairs in front of them, and he's about to lean back and take a nap when he spots a familiar head a few rows up.

"Kravitz," Taako whispers, except he can't really whisper, so it's more just a normal speaking tone. "Hey. Kravalicious."

Kravitz turns backwards in his chair and looks back at Taako, unimpressed. When they make eye contact Taako grins and starts waving him back. "C'mere."

Kravitz shakes his head.

"Come back here!"

"He's not gonna give up," Davenport says at the front, resigned to his presentation and most likely entire mission being interrupted by Taako's shenanigans. Kravitz spins around in mild shock and definite embarrassment while Taako just smiles wider. "Just go."

Taako nods enthusiastically and Kravitz sighs before working his way past the other people in his row. As Davenport goes back to outlining the specifications of the mission, Kravitz sits down in the empty seat next to Taako.

"Good morning, Taako."

"Sup, Kravvy," Taako says as he flops his head over to look at him. "So you one of the tech geeks backstage on this thing or are we gonna be roomies?"

Kravitz flips through his packet to the tentative Starblaster floorplan. "Uh, neither. According to this you're in the only double room with Lup."

"Oh shit, really?" Taako grabs the map out of Kravitz's hands even though he knows he has an identical one in his own folder. "Aw, nice, our own bathroom? Score!"

He passes Kravitz back the paper and continues, "Well, neighbors at least. What're you doing on this voyage to the stars, huh?"

Kravitz adjusts his glasses (it must be early in the morning, Taako never sees him with them after eight in the morning, and he doesn't know why he knows that) and says, "Chief science officer nominally, but I'm sure there'll be some other kind of anthropological aspect to whatever I do as well. What about you? I don't suspect you're doing anything behind the scenes, that doesn't seem your style."

"Me? Not in the spotlight? As if." Taako tips his chair back, throwing an arm around the back of Kravitz's to keep him from falling over. "I'm pure magic, baby. I don't know if you know this, but me and Lup are pretty much the best wizards to ever live. Also I make a mean frittata."

_Taako pulling open the checkered curtains at the window over the sink to see Julia's guilty face as she reaches for the pie cooling there. Taako and Lup spinning around each other in a display much more extravagant than Davenport's birthday lunch warrants. Taako and his hands shaking as a skillet of eggs turns to maple syrup turns to stew, the levitating bowls orbiting him clattering to the floor without someone there to catch them. Taako leaning over Kravitz and telling him how exactly to stir the pasta. Taako with a plate of apology pancakes, apology macarons, apology french toast and mac and cheese and one tiny bowl of apology ice cream. Taako and birthday cakes, Taako and midnight snacks, Taako and a messy kitchen and a table full of smiles used to being forced to wash the dishes._

The surprised delight on Kravitz's face is adorable. "You cook?"

Taako sits up straight at that and looks him dead in the eye. "Are you kidding me."

"I didn't know that."

Groaning Taako runs a hand down his face before pushing back his bangs again. "Well, hot stuff, good thing blastoff isn't for months, because you've got a thing or two to learn about me."

Taako turns back to the front and misses the small smile Kravitz gives him.

"I look forward to it," he says, and they both turn to listen to their captain explain not even half of what is to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we did it guys. we climbed this whole mountain. i’m so pleased to finally have this all out in the world (i finished the brunt of this writing last month so i’ve been vibrating with excitement ever since) and i just—
> 
> okay, sappy time, fair warning.
> 
> this fic. would not exist if it weren’t for you guys.
> 
> yes, i know, the words came from my head and everything, but seriously none of this would have happened and CERTAINLY not to the extent that this grew to have. all your comments really are what kept me going and kept me excited and really your enthusiasm and support and interest not only really helped me get through my first few months of uni but were so inspiring that i couldn’t NOT continue writing lmao. seeing the same faces every day in my inbox (terezis, LiterateChick, marywhale, and hststarlight especially, y’all are the mvps) and the fact that apparently some of you want to read things not because of the characters we all know and love but because they’re written by ME is so... i mean, it's unbelievable, it’s really a lot, and i’m so incredibly grateful for that, and like honored? this is the first of my fics to ever have more comments than kudos and that’s completely bananas to me tbqfh
> 
> anyway, idk, thank you guys so so so much, i love you all a lot. i really hope you enjoyed the end. catch you on the flip side!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> (oh and also happy birthday TheNerdRevolution!!!!!! i'm gonna go have a slice of cake just for you and definitely not bc i just really want cake rn)

**Author's Note:**

> work and chapter titles from "[meditation at lagunitas](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47553/)" by robert hass (with some pronouns changes #gay), which was shown to me by [hststarlight](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hststarlight/) (tysm!!!) and is so beautiful that i couldn't not use it
> 
> if you've read this far, thank you so much!!!!! i really appreciate it. and if you liked this or any of my other fics, maybe consider [buying me a coffee](http://ko-fi.com/mildlydiscouraging)?
> 
> tumblr @[moonfullofstars](http://moonfullofstars.tumblr.com)


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